The Truth About Vampires (Bts vampire au)

Indescribable

Jungkook is thrumming with whatever is in his veins. He's laying on the living room couch staring at the ceiling and just feeling. His vision swirls, changing direction every time heart beats in a strangely timed danced.

It's been four days since the incident. Hoseok is mostly healed now. His hands, which were the worst of the injuries, are still scarred and a bit achy.

Despite Hoseok's speedy recovery, Jungkook's condition hasn't improved. The excessive magic isn't fading. It's so so so much for him.

"Kook-ah," Yoongi says. Jungkook snaps his head in Yoongi's direction. He hadn't even noticed the older vampire approaching with a mug of warm blood in his hands. "Thirsty?"

Jungkook's mouth waters. He doesn't notice how hungry he gets when he's zoned out. Thankfully, he has his hyungs.

Sitting up takes more effort than Jungkook expected. He hasn't fed all day and it's taking a toll. Even with raw magic in him, Jungkook needs blood.

"Thank you hyung," Jungkook murmurs as he takes the mug. He starts drinking far too quickly. Yoongi sits beside Jungkook. He pets his hair comfortingly as Jungkook finishes chugging the blood.

"How're you feeling?" Yoongi asks.

Jungkook lowers the mug into his lap. He hasn't said much to his hyungs the past few days. He's been too spaced, too tired, or too down to feel like speaking. But his hyungs give him space and time.

"I- I don't know," Jungkook licks his lips. "I'm numb most of the time. But I keep thinking about it. The witches. At first I was just trying to defend myself and keep them from doing whatever they wanted me for. But I couldn't stop."

Yoongi rests his arm on Jungkook's shoulder and tugs the younger vampire close. Jungkook circles the rim of the mug with one finger.

"Most of them were running away," Jungkook continues. "But I hunted them down and just..."

"And you feel guilty?" Yoongi asks. He tries to understand, but it's been so long since he was human, or anything close to human.

"I- not about the witches. I know what they wanted and that they brought it on themselves. But I felt like a completely different person. Like I was detached and my body was... I don't know. I don't feel the same. Even now."

"We're all predators Jungkook. It takes time to get used to. None of us like it." Yoongi leans forward to see Jungkook's eyes. "And hunting witches probably gave you a different power high. Their magic is intoxicating."

Jungkook pauses. Intoxicating. It certainly felt like that. His mind was muddled. His thoughts were going in circles around the same thing. Take. He wanted and wanted until he was convinced he needed it. That's more than intoxicating. "Addicting," Jungkook spits out in realization. "It was addicting."

***

Jungkook is beginning to believe he only has two brain cells and they are constantly fighting with each other. That's the only excuse he has for kissing Namjoon.

He'd finally been able to get some descent sleep the day before, but only because Namjoon had fed him. When he woke up this morning and not been hungry, his sire had helpfully offered drinking for him again. Jungkook couldn't decline. So he drank. Not much, but enough. And when Jungkook pulled away from Namjoon's chest and looked up at the older vampire he just... surged up and kisses him straight on the mouth? Who even does that?

Namjoon had let out a small sound of surprise, but he didn't stop Jungkook. That counted for something at least. But Jungkook is suddenly in a very awkward situation because he just embarrassed himself in front of someone he has to spend literally all of eternity with.

"Um I-" Jungkook says after some silence. "Can we pretend that didn't happen?"

Namjoon laughs. He kisses Jungkook's cheek and sits on the bed. "If you really want to. But you aren't the first vampire I've kissed and you certainly won't be the last."

Jungkook feels his face heat up. He sits beside Namjoon and tries to think of something to say. He knows his hyungs have a deeper level of care for each other. It's hard not to know when Jungkook can hear everything that goes on in the house. Knowing something is different than knowing what to do what that information.

"We only have each other," Namjoon continues in explanation. "Our relationship is... it's a reflection of that."

"So I- you're lovers?" Jungkook asks.

"Lover is just a word." Namjoon smiles. Dimples and all.

"All words are just words."

Namjoon laughs again. Jungkook joins in to help ease some of his own anxiety.

"That's fair," Namjoon says. "We don't call ourselves lovers. Our relationship changes too much to define it. It's what we need it to be. And right now maybe lovers is what we all need after so many years apart."

"You care about each other. I could see that from the very beginning." Jungkook is new to this but he knows what love looks like. Platonic love and romantic love are separated by a very thin line. That line gets more and more blurry when you're in a vampire's shoes. Maybe labels make things harder.

Namjoon's smile becomes more fond. He pushes back Jungkook's hair. "We care about you too Jungkook."

"That's not what I-" Jungkook begins quickly. He isn't jealous or anything. He's still mostly an outsider. An invader or a parasite that won't be leaving anytime soon. He needs to earn his place. Jungkook still doesn't know his hyungs like they know each other.

"I know that's not what you were implying," Namjoon says. He's still facing Jungkook with that same fond look. "But it's true. We do care about you. And we'd like if you cared about us too."

Jungkook ducks his head. He doesn't know how to talk about feelings. Of course the six men around him have become important to him. They've all been there for his transition — the hardest time of his life — and they've been amazing.

"I- It's..." Jungkook exhales sharply. Namjoon waits for the younger man to find his words. "I feel like you're my best friends. I know it's more complicated than that, but I can't describe it. It's like your all I have."

Namjoon smiles faintly. Understanding. No one has ever understood Jungkook like his hyungs. Maybe that's why he feels so strongly towards them. He's found a family built on blood and trust. There is finally a place where he belongs.

That kind of feeling can't be put into words.