The Truth About Vampires (Bts vampire au)

Comfortingly Cold

Death is comfortingly cold. It's hand rests soundly on Jungkook's shoulders. Where ever he goes, the cold in his bones doesn't go away. It's the only constant.

Sanity is beginning to feel out of reach. Can a mass murderer be sane? Doesn't a person lose all humanity when they take a life? Questions like this are things Jungkook never thought he'd have to ask himself. Not before he became a mindless killer.

None of it matters. Life doesn't matter. Every mortal is going to die anyway. Who cares if Jungkook ends their live a little early? In the grand scheme of things, a lifetime isn't worth anything. The human race is nothing compared to the vast timelessness of the universe.

No. That's not true. It can't be. Surely that's the hunger talking.

Jungkook is so sick of bagged blood. He wants something warm and fresh. He'll say anything to justify his craving. That fact scares him.

Fisting his hair, Jungkook plants himself on the edge of his bed. He can't do this. He can't resist but he can't give in.

Everything is on autopilot. Jungkook doesn't realize that he's walked all the way down stairs until someone calls out.

"Where are you going?"

Jungkook's hand slips off the doorknob. How did he get downstairs? Where was he going?

"I don't know." Jungkook turns around hesitantly.

Taehyung is standing in the foyer. He's dressed in one of his matching pajama sets. The purple striped one. Jungkook would say it's the vampire's favorite based on how often he wears it. Taehyung has his arms crossed but he doesn't appear judgmental.

"If you want to go out I can take you," Taehyung offers. "But you shouldn't go off on your own."

Jungkook's brow furrows. He knows that. It's a stupid thing to do and yet... Jungkook shakes his head and toes off his shoes. When had he put on shoes?

"No," Jungkook says softly. "Don't let me go out. I don't remember- I think it's a bad idea."

There's a beat of silence between them. Jungkook doesn't meet Taehyung's eyes.

"Do you want to talk?" Taehyung asks. It's a gentle offer. Jungkook is thankful for that. He might shatter at any moment.

Jungkook steps past Taehyung and sits in the living room. The older man follows him at the same pace. Once they're sitting beside each other, Jungkook doesn't know what to say.

"I feel empty," Jungkook finally whispers. "Sometimes I think I'd do anything to fill the hole in me. It's like me brain shuts off. Every time I drink, I don't remember how I got there. I'm just suddenly in the basement with empty blood bags around me. In the back of my mind, I know what I did, but it's always fuzzy. It's like when I first turned and- and hurt all those people. I could do something I don't want to do. Something bad."

Taehyung lets Jungkook breath for a moment before answering. "A lot has happened to you lately. It could be your way of coping. You check out of your own head."

"I- I can't keep doing it." Jungkook knows he's hurt people. He knows he'll do it again. If he's a bystander to his own actions, then he'll cause problems for everyone. He could — would kill someone. Killing someone in public would be detrimental.

"We've all done things we regret," Taehyung begins. He pauses, looking away from Jungkook briefly. Regret is something you have to live with. Especially if you're immortal. "The world keeps spinning."

"If I think like that — if I disregard my guilt — I'd kill everyone in this city without hesitation."

Consequences don't apply to vampires. The only thing restraining them is themselves. If Jungkook loses that — loses his own guilt and sense of self — he wouldn't have a reason to care about human lives or supernatural exposure. He'd take and take everything he wanted, no matter what it costs to everyone else.

Jungkook thinks back to his conversation with Jimin. Is this proof they aren't monsters? Is their humanity enough?

Taehyung shrugs. "I guess you're right. Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe nothing matters. We could do anything we want and life would go on."

Jungkook glances at Taehyung. "We can only afford to have one existential crisis in this house."

Taehyung chuckles once. "Yeah. Whenever I think about it my head hurts. Sometimes it's best to leave things as they are. So let's try not killing the city's population. Even if no one can kill us, they are things worse than death."

Jungkook shudders. He agrees.

***

Hoseok never pushes Jungkook away. Not when the youngest vampire creeps into Hoseok's bed at night, not when he wants to talk, and not when he wants to stay quiet.

Jungkook doesn't think much of it anymore. He just curls up to Hoseok on the couch while watching a movie and breaths deep. Hoseok's scent is calming enough to put Jungkook to sleep. Sometimes he does sleep -- with Hoseok's tender and tending fingers in his hair -- but not today.

"How's your day?" Jungkook asks. Hoseok doesn't look away from the screen, but he does smile all the way up to his eyes.

"Same old stuff. I'm still trying to convince Jin-hyung to model for me?"

"Model?" Jungkook asks.

"Yeah. I wanna steal Taehyung's camera and try it out. Jin-hyung says he photographs better in the fall, which doesn't make any sense to me, but he won't model for me until then," Hoseok explains.

"I think he's just shy." Jungkook relaxes into Hoseok's chest. The older vampire tightens his arms around Jungkook's shoulders.

"He is," Hoseok confirms. "Taehyung is on my side though. He says we should capture hyung's beauty. Jin-hyung always says that it doesn't matter since he doesn't age. That part is true, but I still want to take pictures."

Jungkook chuckles lightly. He's on Hoseok's side too. "I'll set up a shoot for you guys. If all of us team up against him, he can't say no."

"Who are teaming up against?" Jimin asks as he enters the living room. He has a mug of tea in one hand and his hair is ruffled like he hasn't combed it yet.

"Jin-hyung," Hoseok answers.

"I'm in," Jimin announces. He sets his tea down on the side table before throwing himself on the couch and curling up on Hoseok's other side.

"You don't even know what we're talking about," Hoseok teases. He shifts so Jimin can tuck into his side.

"Doesn't matter. If we're going against Jin-hyung, it'll be fun."

Jungkook laughs. He reaches over Hoseok to swat Jimin's hand. "There's no loyalty in this house."

Jimin tries to look offended, but his giggling ruins the effect. Jungkook loves that sound.

"It's impossible to watch movies with you two," Hoseok scolds with no seriousness. Jungkook and Jimin mutter half-hearted apologizes as they laugh. Hoseok pulls both of the younger vampires tight against him until they can't breath. 

Jungkook doesn't need air to live, but he does need his hyungs.