Deadass

h o l l o w

      It had been 3 months since Kai killed himself, the school and students had quickly gotten over it. About a week after Kai put the bullet in his head, his parents got a quick divorce and moved away, going their separate ways. It seemed that the last thing holding them back was finally gone, and it seemed that they didn't care.

It was December, the world was cold and so was Diana. After she was done crying herself to sleep every night, after the emotion, after thinking about what she could have done, or that she wanted him there, she was empty. She couldn't muster up enough emotion for anything and Avani knew it, she knew that being there wouldn't help Diana feel better, so she decided not to. Diana's school work started slipping, her eating habits became less and less healthy, and her sleep habits worst of all, whenever she did sleep she sometimes had nightmares but most of it was empty. She was somehow more alive when she slept than when she was conscious, she let her hair grow out even longer, rarely brushed it and let it form a curtain or a wall against the world. She looked paler and unwashed, because she usually was, the days when she could bring herself to get in the shower, she mostly just sat under the water. Feeling it beat against her back as she sat and cried, her tears blending with the water and circling down the drain.

She had given up on going back to the library, that place where she spent so much time with Kai was now a constant reminder that she was alone in the world, that he wasn't there with her. The first time she went to the library was four days after the announcement, she thought that it would become even more of a haven for her, containing so many good memories of him.

But she couldn't even make it past the doorway.

The second she stepped inside, she met the eyes of one of the employees, a young woman named Elizabeth who would often have conversations with them. Elizabeth gave her the saddest look, as if she was watching the door to see when Diana would come. As soon as she saw Elizabeth and the look in her eyes, she broke down. She collapsed right there in front of the door, her stack of books spinning across the floor, she didn't bother to get them, she just let them lay on the ground as she sat there sobbing and wailing. Elizabeth rushing towards her, it was as if she felt invisible hands on her shoulders, lifting her and urging her out of the library.

She ran, and ran, all the way home, not stopping to take a breath or to tie her shoelace

just ran

She felt the strain she was putting on her frail body as she sprinted the two miles to her cold home, still crying