My Almost Lovely Little Lady~Like Lesbian Life {M.A.L.L.L~L.L.L.}

High School Life: Day One

Dear Diary,

I began high school months ago, but I might as well talk about my first day. I have to admit, I was proud of myself for being anti-social for 4 days in a row. To be honest, I felt...
..............happy being alone, I hated being near people.

Now, I have a "best friend" supposibly even though he's super needy, too chill, and obsessive over me. Honestly, I don't wanna be friends with him. Either way, I always change my mind in the end and stay friends. My emotions are so confusingly weak, that's a reason why I hate myself.

Trust me, there are a lot of reasons that I can't describe in words because I'm just that negative. I never figured out why though, it's hard to think of that while feeling suicidal and perhaps....................empty.

I also have five other people I talk to, but they're so social that I never get a chance. I really don't fit in, not even when I'm talking to my "best friend", Shawn. He may be just like me, but he's not....he can hide tears, he can hide his feelings while I can't hide anything with my big mouth.
Most things I hide are because my depression helps me hide them. And because there too personal. That's why I'm here on wattpad explaining my problems to random people. Shit, some of them might be able to help me better then how my "friends" help me. They ask me "Are you okay...?" and hug me. Like that'll get rid of the negativity in my head. And my girlfriend told me to stop cutting my wrist and starving myself, but it's so hard to fight my depression. Then I randomly cry, like what I'm doing right now as I'm writing this part, or episode, or whatever. I don't know what to do to get rid of these thoughts, I need someone here with me, in my house. So they can stop me from sneaking into the bathroom at night and starting cutting little by little. Sorry if I'm rambling guys, I'm gonna end this part/episode now. Have a good day, I love you all, byeee~♡