i thought it would be fun to post this immediately after writing it at 6 am and yes, i have been up all night. no these aren't super bad bags under my eyes; my mascara went everywhere because he made me cry the happiest tears i've ever cried.
so anyway. the prompt asks what personality trait is my favorite. i don't know if this means in me or in others, so i guess i'll do both.
in myself, i both love and hate how selfless i am, which sounds conceited, but bear with me. i was raised by someone who doesn't know how to think about other people ever. the best advice i ever got was to do the opposite. and i love this about myself because i am a dang good friend when i'm needed. but i hate it because when i need to rant, my brain says, "no, they have enough problems. they don't need yours burdening them too." another part of this is that, you know, some self care would be nice, but my brain says to me, "uh, that starts with self. you cant have any of that. you also can't have self esteem self love or any other positive thing that starts with self. have fun with that."
so, like most everything in life, i need a balance. but i have none.
in other people, i love love LOVE someone who is genuine. being someone who fakes a smile, i'm decent at detecting fakers, both when it comes to smiles and otherwise. and i freaking hate that. okay, yes, i have pseudos, but everything i post about me or my life is 100% real. all of it.
i just love people who are genuine. they are interested in what you have to say all the time. they text you first, and not just when they need something. they ask how you're doing and don't care if you rant or just say "i'm good today (:" i live for people like that.
as i am about to hit publish, it is almost 7:30 now. i hate that i did this to myself. why did i not sleep? no freaking reason. okay i'm done now.
