Falsettos Oneshots

In Your Dreams//Homosexuals

Trigger Warning

The curtains in his room are wide-open. He's brought a chair right in front of the window, so that he can stare up at the moon on the nights he can't sleep. We used to fight constantly about keeping the curtains open at night, and knowing that I've won the battle in the end makes me smile. Maybe he knows that. I stand next to him, leaning on the windowsill. It's pretty outside, there isn't a single cloud in the sky.

When we were little kids, on nights like these we'd sneak out and run around the neighborhood, laughing and giggling about nothing in particular. One night like this holds the memory of our first shared kiss. We were fifteen, drunk and secretly in love. He was just staring at me, with this really pretty expression, and knowing that I loved him, I leaned in without second thought. Thinking back on it, I hadn't realized how much I missed that moment until right now. The memory tugs at my heart, pulling a frown onto my face. I place a hand on Marvin's forehead, and suddenly, we're standing outside, watching our pink-faced fifteen year old selves fool around together.

"I miss this." I say, smiling softly. Marvin looks at me, and I look back at him. It's nice, him being able to see me. I wish I could keep him in this state forever.

"I'd completely forgotten." He says, tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry." I take a step towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Even in his dreams, he smells nice. "You need to stop crying so much, that's all you ever do now. You're ruining your pretty face." I sigh, biting my lip. "I know this is a dream, so this isn't going to be very convincing, but I'm with you, Marv. Always. I haven't left your side."

"I wish I could believe that."

"I wish you could believe that, too." I say. "It hurts. I tell you over and again that I love you and you never hear me." Marvin frowns.

"I love you too. More than anything."

"Leave the curtains open, Marv. I like it like that." I say, kissing him on top of the head.

"I thought so. I've grown used to it."

"It's nice. I can watch you sleep now, not that you actually do." I take his hand, resting my chin on his shoulder. "You need to take care of yourself, Marv."

"What do you mean?"

"You aren't sleeping, or eating, or going out anywhere. Don't think I didn't see you bring that shit into your house."

"What shi-" His eyes widen. "Whizzer, I wasn't going to-"

"You obviously were! I saw you writing that damned note!" I yell, and we're plunged into darkness. "I read every word! I can watch you, Marvin, but I can't save you! Especially from yourself!"

The memory of us as kids is long gone, replaced by Marvin and me in his room. Except, he can't see me, as this one takes place long after I died.

"MARVIN!" I yell, stomping into the bedroom and watching him twist the knife in his hand, tears falling down my cheeks. He looks down at his arm, bringing the blade to the bottom of his wrist. Blood dribbles down his wrist, and I squeeze my eyes shut, dropping to the floor with loud sobs. There was no way I could reach him, no way to make him stop. Instead, I stare at the floor, singing softly to myself. As I rub tears that never would have reached the floor out of my eyes, sighing.

Marvin looks up at me.

"I'm here, Marvin." Is all I say, spinning on my heels. Suddenly, we're back in Marvin's room, the moonlight still shining through the window sill. Marvin looks around the room, sniffling.

"Whizzer?" I place my hand on his shoulder, and he shivers. "I love you."

I decide to do something I've never done before.

"I love you too." I whisper into his ear. He nods, and I smile softly, knowing that he got my message.