Falsettos Oneshots

The Cute Baristas Are Taken//Homosexuals

Marvin and Whizzer own a coffee shop in New York!
Which is uh
Totally not my dream job, what the fuck why are you asking me this

"Marvin, C'mon, we're about to open!" Whizzer called out with a smile, making sure all of the machines were plugged in and working. Marvin walked out from the supplies room in the back of the building and sat behind the counter next to Whizzer, who had a dark turtleneck on under his apron, and his clear-framed glasses- they weren't prescription, just for the 'aesthetic'- were resting cutely on his nose. His hair wasn't all gelled up today, but looked extremely soft and fell perfectly in front of his face. Marvin took just a moment to swoon at his boyfriend's pure beauty, practically swimming in the boys chocolate eyes. They were bright, and full of excitement for the up-coming business day. "Marvin? You good?"

"Great, actually." Marvin mumbled, standing up and pulling Whizzer into a passionate kiss. Whizzer quickly pushed him away.

"Marvin, we're at work! Right in front of the windows! Before morning rush hour!" Whizzer hissed. Marvin frowned, nodding. "Listen, Marv, I love you, so, so much, but..." Whizzer trails off, looking down. "I don't want anybody getting harassed, babe. Let's just save it for later, okay? I'll make it up to you, I promise." Marvin pouted, but nodded anyways. Whizzer quickly kissed him on the top of his head, hopping over the counter (which, by the way, startled Marvin every single time he did it-god it was hot) and went to unlock the door with a wide smile, flipping the closed sign to open. Marvin didn't understand why he loved working there so much, it wasn't all that fun, really. All they did was sell coffee to extra-snarky teenage girls and over-tired college kids.

"Hey, hon. Can I get a large coffee with extra sugar, tiny bit of whipped cream, and maybe your number?" Some man asked, leaning his elbow on the counter. Marvin's head snapped up, glaring daggers at Whizzer, who quickly shot him a look that was so obvious that it practically screamed 'calm down'.

"Sure! Would you like my boyfriend's, too?" Whizzer casually beamed, pointing his thumb at Marvin, who blushed, smiling and waving. The man threw his hands up, grinning.

"A man's gotta try, huh?" Whizzer laughed, collecting the man's money and quietly asking me to get his coffee. I grumble a quick, 'Yeah, sure," standing up and grabbing a cup, walking over to the machines and pouring the coffee. This happens at least twice a day, and Whizzer always turns them down, so why did it still phase him all that much? Really, he was scared that some day, some really cute guy would stroll in and completely snatch Whizzer's heart away from Marvin, but he knew that he was being irrational. He sighed, lidding the coffee and handing it to Whizzer, who gave it to the man with a smile. They watched him leave, relief flooding through Marvin as the bell rang to signal the stranger's exit.

"What are you so worried about? Come on, Marv, it's not like any of them are even the slightest bit charming." Whizzer laughs, looking down at Marvin, who was staring down at the counter I'm distress. "Marvin?" Whizzer asked, his eyes going soft. Marvin didn't respond, just smiled eerily at a lady who was looking up at the menu. "Marvin, don't do this."

Marvin just shrugged, walking into the back mumbling something about croissants.

Whizzer sighed, smiling at the lady.

"All set?" He asked sweetly. She nodded, quickly giving him her order.

"What's going on with your friend over there?" She politely asked, but quickly shook her head. "Oh my gosh, that's totally not my business, I have a problem, I'm so sorry!" Whizzer just laughed, handing her the coffee.

"God no, it's fine, really. He's my boyfriend, and I get flirted with a lot. He hates it," Whizzer said, leaning up on the counter. 

"That must really suck." She says, frowning. "Okay, well, I should get going. Have a nice one!" She said, smiling and walking out of the shop.

"Marv, you can't hide back there for the next four hours." Whizzer called, crossing his arms. After getting no response, he frowned, quickly putting up a sign that read 'sorry! Back in a moment!'  and walking into the room behind the counter. Marvin was curled up in a ball, his head in his knees. Whizzer quickly rushed over to sit next to him, crossing his legs. "Marvin, baby. C'mon, we have to work."

"Am I good enough for you?" Marvin quickly asked, looking up. His cheeks were tear stained and red. Whizzer frowned.

"What?"

"I've seen you scribbling stuff on all of their napkins and cups. Am I good enough for you? Do you want to break up, because if you want to break up, we can break up." Marvin says, semi-confidentiality in his voice, but his eyes look horrified.

"No," Whizzer laughed, cupping Marvin's cheeks. "Baby, I give them Mendel's number. Why do you think he's always so pissed off?" He paused. "I don't want you to think for a second that I'd pick up some thirsty Café guy, especially over you." Marvin nodded, laughing a little bit. Whizzer pulled him into a quick kiss, standing up and holding his hand out to help Marvin, who gratefully took it, standing up and stretching.

While Marvin tended to the impatient customers, Whizzer stepped into the office for a second. He came back out with a huge cardboard sign. Written in Whizzer's neat handwriting, it read:

THE CUTE BARISTAS ARE TAKEN! Thank you <3

Meeting Marvin's eyes, Whizzer smirked, taping the sign to the wall.

***

"Trina!" Mendel yelled from the living room, his phone in his hand. Jason, now fourteen, was sitting next to him, reading a book. Trina walked out from the kitchen, a knife resting in her hand.

"What?"

"Will you please tell Marvin to tell Whizzer to stop giving my number out to all of those horny café guys that flirt with him? Please?" Mendel asked, frowning. Jason looked over at Mendel's phone, snorting. Trina just laughed, walking back into the kitchen.

***

Whizzer and Marvin were closing up shop when Marvin's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, looking down at it.

"Why is Mendel calling me?" Whizzer snorted, grabbing the phone from Marvin's hand and putting it on speaker, holding eye-contact with Marvin.

"Whizzer speaking, what do you think about Josh? Wasn't really my type, but I thought you might find him dashing."

"I swear to Christ Whizzer, if I get on more picture of a penis-" Mendel said, but Whizzer only laughed, hanging up on him and handing the phone back to Marvin.

"See? No harm done. C'mon, let's get out of here." Whizzer smirked, grabbing Marvin's hand as they ran out to the parking lot.