≠ // {HYYH}

You Knew Me When, And You Know Me Better Than Anyone Else

The three knocks on the door did not wake him up this time since he had been awake for a couple of hours already, wondering if it was the medicine he was given that stopped the dreams since he did not dream of anything at all, not even the usual nightmares. "Eat your breakfast. all of it. And then I'll come to take you to your session, okay?" The nurse repeated the same sentence that she said every single morning.

Jimin did not want to eat, or sleep, or to even get out of bed. He felt as if he was not in control of his body all over again and that terrified him. Knowing that even his thoughts and dreams were not his own anymore.

He pushed the plate of bland food away from him and forced himself out of bed to peek out of the barred window wishing more than anything to go out and just walk amongst the people again. The doctor would say that it meant that his fear of people was improving, but the truth was that he was more scared of wasting his youth, supposedly the best years of his life, held hostage in this institution.

The nurse came back, her face remained expressionless when her eyes fell upon the untouched food. "Double portions for lunch then, your session is about to start Jimin-sshi, let's get going," She said, reaching to link her arm to his and pull him towards the same room he had been to every week, even though it felt like he had been visiting it every day since all the rooms in this place were identical.

"So how are we feeling? Any differences from last week?" The same questions again. He remained quiet, not uttering a single word. "You need to talk to me for me to help you," The psychiatrist asked, making Jimin hold back the tears of frustration he had been bottling up since the day he was dragged into this cursed institution.

"What about the dreams? Are you still seeing them? Your 'friends'" The older man said, throwing quotation signs in the air as he spoke mockingly.

Jimin wished, with every cell he had, for his body to just explode, for it to be ripped apart into pieces just how his soul was. "Two days, I haven't dreamt" He mumbled, knowing that giving the older what he wanted will get him out of this suffocating room faster.

"Oh! This is great news! It's nice to know that you're not losing your mind anymore. The medicine is working, so we'll keep with the same dosage for now." He said, more to himself as he scribbled indecipherable words in the thick file where Jimin's progress, or lack thereof, was tracked.

"Well, as a reward for your improvement, you'll be allowed to eat at the cafeteria so behave yourself, and don't cause trouble. That's all. Nurse Ahn!" The old man shouted out of nowhere causing the small male to flinch and try to regulate his breathing before anyone would catch on.

The reward was funny. It was to be allowed to eat with other people, something that he hadn't done in more than six months since they decided that his eating should be monitored. Also, he wasn't rewarded for something that helped him, but he was rewarded for saying what the psychiatrist wanted him to say. Jimin was not going to complain though. He got a reward so he was going to do all he can do to not have the reward taken from him.

Nurse Ahn walked the shorter male toward the cafeteria and left him at the main door. Of course, she was going to walk him there, just so he won't wander off around the place and maybe even escape. He walked into the place, smiling slightly at the sound of people talking, and the smell of food that was not as bad as the mush he was served every day. He even saw a couple of people smiling in his direction, probably assuming that he was new, it had been that long since he had seen any of the people there. Even his group therapy sessions were taken away from him. The only people he was allowed to see were nurse Ahn and the therapists.

He stood in line, fiddling with his hands as he was slightly overwhelmed with the number of people around him. It made the doubts in his head scream at him, telling him that he was not getting any better if he was getting anxious about being around a small number of people, how would he able to get out of here, let alone dance in front of a crowd.