Rating Game And Bedroom Arts!?

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F/N P.O.V

"F/N...? F/N...? F/N!"

My eyes shot open as I shook my head. I awoke to the sound of Motohamma's voice, and the terrible feeling of Matsuda's shaking.
"What!? What's wrong!?" I exclaimed, looking around frantically for the police.
"Nothing, dude." Motohamma assured. "It's just... you've been sleeping a lot more lately."
"Yeah, you stressed or some shit?" Matsuda asked.

Flashback

I sat on my couch, Sirzechs Lucifer and a man I have never seen before were across from me.

Zechs had just come knocking on my door a few moments ago, and he said he had something he wanted to talk to me about

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Zechs had just come knocking on my door a few moments ago, and he said he had something he wanted to talk to me about.
"F/N, I want you to meet my cousin, here." Sirzechs stated, and the man next to him extended a hand across the coffee table.
"Sairaorg Bael." The man introduced, and we shook hands. "I'm hoping us stopping by hasn't troubled you."
"Not at all... I can talk and drink." I assured, taking a sip from my glass of whiskey.
Sairaorg chuckled.
"I've never seen a boy your age drink so much." He stated.
"Eh, you're only two thousand fifty two years old once." I chuckled.
"You're that old, huh? That makes you over a hundred years older than Rias." Sirzechs stated.
Devils age very differently than humans. One human year is the equivalent of a hundred years to a devil. So, it must truly be hell to take care of a baby for over a hundred years for a devil. Even when devils reach a certain age, they can use some type of anti-aging magic that makes them stay the way they look until they die. Wait a minute... am I a pedo? I mean, Asia, Irina, and Xenovia are devils now... but they were all once human. They're all eighteen years old exactly. I'm MUCH older than them but I still look their age... oh my god.
"F/N? Are you alright?" Sairaorg asked, staring at the dark aura surrounding me. "You seem depressed..."
"More than that... much more." I corrected. "Anyway, what did you two come here to talk about?"
Zechs looked at Sairaorg, who smirked before answering my question.
"F/N. I, Sairaorg Bael, challenge you to a Rating Game." He answered with pride.
.............. huh?
"Are we-uh... rating TV shows? Because Boku No-!"
"Enough with that!" Raynare yelled from upstairs. "It's worn down! We all know how much you hate that show, already!"
"Who's WE!?" I yelled back.
Zechs and Sairaorg lightly chuckled at my 'intentionally' joke. I don't think they knew that I didn't know what the hell a Rating Game was.

Flashback End

Turns out that a Rating Game is a competition between two devils with a peerage. Basically... my peerage vs Sairaorg's... I'm so FUCKED. Arima and Charlotte are skilled. I have no doubt in their capabilities... but Raynare and Kalawarner are... how do I say this? Useless. Yes, that's the word. Raynare is lazy and can't fight to save her life. Kalawarner has developed a phobia of demonic power ever since Rias and Akeno killed her and her allies. Seriously, she's even afraid to use it.
"Yeah, I'm stressed." I answered.
"About what?" Motohamma asked. "......are you and Ms. Rossweisse going through a rough patch?"
"NO! WE ARE NOT BECAUSE WE ARE NOT DATING!" I yelled with pink cheeks.
"F/N you lucky mofo! You two are already married!?" Matsuda exclaimed, and I rolled my eyes in defeat and sunk into my chair.
Five devils aren't gonna be enough to beat Sairaorg... I'm gonna need more servants. But, where the hell would I find new servants? Preferably servants that aren't alcoholics like my entire peerage, including me. I'm so screwed.
"Hey perverted trio!" Aika called. "Are you three gonna come over and help search for places to go in Kyoto?"
"We're busy with man stuff, hoe! We ain't got time for that!" Matsuda answered.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY PERVERTED TRIO!?" I asked loudly. "I'M NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THEIR PERVERTED ANTICS!"
"I'd say a student-teacher relationship is very perverted, F/N" Aika grinned.
"YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME!" I cried, earning a good laugh out of Aika.
I then began to feel a... a feeling. No, it's not love. It was something... different. I stared at Aika once she turned away. She was emitting this... energy, you could call it that. It was strange... but it was also strong. What is this...?
"Yo, F/N. If you keep staring at Aika like that, Ms. Rossweisse will get all jelly." Matsuda stated.
"Did you seriously just say the word jelly in that context?" I asked.
I then felt a tugging on my sleeve. I looked to my right and looked down... it was Koneko!
"Oh-uh, hey, Koneko." I greeted. "What's up?"
"Can I borrow you for a second?" She asked, and I shrugged before nodding in agreement.

Koneko lead me all the way to the ORC building. We went into Rias' office, where she now stood in the middle of the room.
"What are we doing in here?" I asked.
"I'm going to heal you. As I said last night; you lost a lot of life-force when you turned into that monster. If we constantly use my healing sage arts, we'll be able to restore the life-force you lost." She explained. "We've made good progress... but since you're going to be gone for a few days, we're going to make up the lost time now."
"Oh, I understand." I said. "But, why now? Can't we do it later tonight?"
"There's too many people at your house. It makes it rather hard for me to concentrate." She answered. "So we'll do it here..."
Just as she finished speaking, her skirt fell to the floor. My cheeks reddened as she unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her bra."
"Wha-What are you doing!?" I exclaimed, averting my eyes.
"I'm just changing." She said softly.
Her cat tail sprang out from the back of her waist, and her cat ears revealed themselves, as well. She put on her white bathrobe and gestured me to come over to her. I did and I sat on the couch. I took of my shirt, as I do usually when we do the healing, and Koneko placed herself on my lap. My cheeks were light pink, and so were hers.
"How does it feel? Is it helping?" She asked.
"Yep... I feel like I could live another fifty years." I smiled.
She then blushed as she spoke once more.
"There's something else we can try... it's called bedroom arts." She said softly.
"Bedroom arts?" I repeated with a questioning tone. "What does- OH."
I knew exactly what she meant, and that caused my face to be engulfed in a bright rose red.
"I-I don't think we can do that!" I exclaimed. "Pl-plus, why would you wanna do that with me!?"
She then moved herself and myself into a position where she sat on top of me with a bright smile.
"There's nobody else I would wanna do it with. Plus, it would be a benefit to your health." She said. "If we were to do it... it would increase your life-force my almost a thousand years..."
Christ, really!?
"I know you and that clone of my sister did it..." She said. "But since that clone was a mannequin... it means you're still a virgin. It would be a first for both of us..."
Yeah... that fake Kuroka was basically a life-like sex doll... so I really am still a virgin. Oh, shit! That means that if I sleep with Koneko... KUROKA'S GONNA KILL ME!
"I'll do whatever I can to help you recover..." She said.
I gulped...
"O-Okay..." I said softly.
Koneko smiled before slowly leaning towards my lips.
No turning back now... I guess I'm used to this kinda thing...
"Ahem..."
My eyes darted to the doorway, where a crossed armed Rias stood, looking at me with disappointment.
"I know that the sage arts are a necessary evil to help F/N recover. But, I will not allow you two to do the deed on school grounds." Rias stated. "And, F/N..."
"Yes, Rias?" I gulped.
"Irina, Xenovia, Asia, and Rossweisse have all been informed about this incident." She said. "Lady Serafall and Kuroka as well..."
"ALREADY!?" I screamed.
The door swung open just then! Irina, Xenovia, Asia, and Rossweisse stormed in with angered looks on their faces. They saw Koneko on top of my shirtless self... and they weren't too happy about that.
"F/N! YOU... YOU... YOU PERVERT!" Irina yelled.
Rock... bottom...
I've finally hit rock bottom. I've been called the P word by the purest soul I've ever met... welp. I guess it's time to go jump off a cliff.

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