A Small Change of Heart | Boyf riends BMC |

Chapter 11

I ran home, I ran and ran and ran, sobbing as I ran inside and up to my room, I crawled into my bed and covered myself in blankets and cuddled my pillow, shaking, sobbing, wishing it was all a dream...
Michael can't be dead! He can't...h...he..
The thought kept piercing at my brain, i was having a panic attack, my anxiety was overwhelming me, my body shudders in the dim light coming from my window, hot tears dripping into my bed...I can't handle this...he can't be....i

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, I stayed in my room every single day, not eating, not sleeping, not getting up to play games...
My whole world fell apart...the only person I ever truly loved...gone, dead... because of the FUCKING doctors.
I continue to sob, I just want Micha to hold me in his arms again...I want to hear his laughter..his witty comments, his sarcastic humor, his comforting words..I need him...

• • •

I still panic as the time passes, everything seems to be quiet yet muffled with sobs, I look over to my desk, I can't take this anxiety anymore, I want it to stop! I want EVERYTHING TO STOP!!! I grab my anxiety pills from the bedside desk and open them, I take one. I wanted the pain to stop now. I took another, and then more, shoving them down my throat while I sob. Nothing seemed to work..by then I realized the bottle was empty...I felt a sharp pain pierce through my chest like glass, everything was spinning, I got up and tripped, falling to the ground. I cough and cough as I choke back the tears, I felt weak and dizzy, everything was fuzzy. . .
I fell to the ground, too weak to stand up, all the color began to fade from reality, I blacked out.

• • •

I flutter my eyes open, a blinding light flashes into my eyes, I close them and cover my face with my arm. I opened my eyes and lowered my arm, I sat up confused and scared, was I....in the hospital..?, I thought to myself, I'm scared of hospitals, especially when I'm in one being treated, I panic and look around, n..no one..? I accidentally press the emergency button and a doctor rushes in, I look over at them, I'm just scared and confused..

She sighs and smiles "Hello, Jeremy." She walks over to a cabnit, I look at her "w...what...happened..." She tilts her head "You had an overdose on Anxiolytic, you took a whole bottle and you blacked out" she heads over to me, "here take this" she hands me a grey oblong pill, I take it. I look at her, "..when will I be out o..of the hospital...?' i say as I let out a Shakey breath, "In about two months, it was very close to taking your life." "Oh" i say softly.

A couple days later I expected someone to come and say hi but nobody came, it was like nobody cares that I was about to die...
I tear up and pull out my phone, I check Twitter...

19 new notifications

FireBoy11 tweeted: Yo y'all Heere that Jeremy Heere took an overdose? I wonder why.

Jennarolland127: I heard he wanted to kill himself because he didn't get laiddd.

ChloeValen<3: I heard that he died.

JakegetD78: I heard that he took an overdose because he lost his best bro, or boyfriend. It's really sad bro.

Brookieluvsu^^: omg I came in and gave him flowers, he was passed out. I wonder if he's okay!

I sigh and shut off my phone, i look over, flowers..at least someone cares, I sigh and press the button, a doctor comes and brings me food, but I'm not really hungry. I only take a couple bites and then drift off to sleep.

• • •

The time in the hospital felt long and lonley, nobody came to visit me...Michael would've...he would've said hi and brought me gifts and told me that it was ok to be scared,
I start to cry, as I drift to sleep.
"jeremmyyy...Jeremy...earth to jeremy"
I flutter my eyes open slowly, "nnngh?" I look over

..

"..!-"