Melodies

Anxiety

 That day went by in a flash. As the day went on I started to feel less anxious and depressed but I could still tell that as soon as I would slow down for a bit, it would all come back. I saw Emery later that evening at mungowawa (night snack). 

 " Hi Melody, how's your day going?" Emery asked me as I walked past her table. 

 "Good." I said quickly. I honestly wasn't good but I didn't want to talk about it right then. 

 "You sure? You don't look so great," Emery said knowingly. 

 "No, I'm fine," I tried to assure her. I faked a smile to make it more believable but I could tell she didn't quite believe me. 

 "Ok then. Just remember that I'm here if you need to talk. So are Jessalyn and Taylor. We're here to help," Emery offered. I nodded as I walked back to the table I was sitting at. I didn't want to talk about it right now. All I wanted to do was go back to what I felt like this weekend. 

 That night as we had our usual worship session, I started to feel so much better again. This was where I could feel God again, where my thoughts couldn't control me anymore. The music flooded my ears drowning out the thoughts that had consumed me all day. I felt at peace. I never wanted the music to stop, never. Sadly it had to so we could have our usual guy/girl time. Us girls stayed in the living room as we usually did. I decided to sit on the wood coffee table cuz the couches were mostly occupied and that way I was closer to Jessalyn and Taylor. 

 "Tonights topic is anxiety. So do any of you have a description or definition of anxiety?" Jessa'yn asked. I could think of multiple but really didnt want to say anything. I was still terrified of what the other girls thought of me and had hardly said anything to them. 

 "My life," one of the girls said. I turned to see who had said that and saw that one of the most popular girls, Sydney, had just spoke those words. I was shocked. She seemed to have everything together. She was the most popular person in our LDP and she had the perfect body, beautiful brown hair and expensive clothes. How could she be scared of what others think of her? I was totally confused. 

 "That's an insteresting answer Sydney. How is that a description or definition of anxiety?" Jessalyn questioned. 

 "Well, I am almost always anxious about something. A day doesn't go by that I'm not anxious. It's always there and never seems to go away. It haunts me day and night. No matter what I do or who I'm with, I'm anxious about something. Whether it's what others think of me or if my family and friends will be ok, it's always haunting me," Sydney confessed. I sat there in complete disbelief. She was just like me but looked like she had everything together. How could this possibly be a problem for her?

 "Thank you so much for sharing that with us Sydney. I'm sure that's hard to keep inside," Taylor said, breaking the silence. Jessalyn continued to talk about the topic for this evening. I didn't hear a good chunk of it but did catch some of the important points. I just couldn't get Sydney's comment out of my head. She was just like me and I didn't even know it. I needed to talk to her as soon as possible.