Melodies

Just like me

 As soon as we were finished with our guy/girl time we all went to get ready for bed. I quickly got ready and worked up enough courage to talk to Sydney. We were the only ones in our room so it was the perfect time. 

 "Hey Sydney..... thanks so much for sharing this evening. I can totally relate with you," I said. 

 "Thanks. I don't know why I said those things but I just felt like I needed to get it out," Sydney replied. 

 "Well...." I paused, "I needed to hear those words," I confessed. 

 "You did?" Sydney questioned.

 "Yeah, I needed to know that there is someone else out there that feels like I do everyday. Someone who knows what it feels like to be uncertain about almost everything. Someone who has a hard time trusting. Someone who's just like me." Sydney looked at me in shock. 

 "That's why you've been so off by yourself," Sydney responded. I could see all the pieces falling into place inside her brain. I must have been pretty confusing to the other girls. They probably all wonder what the heck is wrong with me. Now one of them knows and understands, because she's just like me. 

 "I guess that's pretty brave of you to tell me about your struggle too," Sydney said. She smiled sweetly. I had never felt so comfortable with someone my age in so long, it felt so amazing! We sat there, thankful that we had revealed this secret we had both been hiding from the world for so long. 

The next day, I once again woke up an hour and a half earlier than everyone else with a brutal stomach ache. I walked downstairs to the living room and sat on the couch. I just wanted to end this pain so badly. I thought about running away again but remember how that worked out last time. I also still had a fractured wrist so I couldn't exactly do that so well anyway. I thought about just ending it once and for all. I don't know why those thoughts came but they did and with so much force. That was all I could think about. I just couldn't handle them anymore. I got up and walked quickly upstairs to Jessalyn and Taylor's room. I knocked the door, hoping one of them was awake. I heard footsteps and then the door opened. Taylor greeted me with a sleepy smile. 

 "What's up Melody?" Taylor asked. 

 "Is Jessalyn awake? I need to talk to her," I replied quickly. 

 "No she's not yet. Is it something I could help with?" Taylor questioned. 

 "I guess so."

 "Ok, I'll get changed really quick then I'll meet you downstairs in the living room," Taylor instructed. I nodded then walked quickly downstairs to the living room where I sat on the big brown couch. I waited for 2ish minutes before Taylor came downstairs and sat beside me on the couch. 

 "So what's up?" Taylor asked.

 "I'm having suicidal thoughts," I blurted out. Taylor's face instantly changed expression. 

 "Wow, that's pretty serious Melody. How long have you been having these thoughts?" 

 "This morning mostly."

 "Well, we're going have to go talk to Tim about this, cuz we have to get someone in higher authority to get involved here. Either Jessalyn or I will come with you. Probably Jessalyn cuz she's the head LDP leader and I know you and her are pretty close and it would probably help you more to have her there. But in the mean time let's go to God for help," Taylor explained. She took out her bible and looked through it and found Psalm 23:4 and read it to me, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." I let the words sink in. Taylor kept looking through her bible and finding many verses about trusting God and the strength of God. It was very comforting and slowly the suicidal thoughts seemed to disappear. I became more and more calm as God's word slowly sank in and started to change my thoughts. 

 "Thank you so much Taylor," I thanked her. 

 "You're welcome. I'll always be here for you Melody," Taylor replied