Count On Me

The Wall Between Us

Happy early Christmas! I'm feeling a bit panicked at the fact that it's 11 days away... so I'd say it's pretty unlikely that I'll be getting another chapter to you before then. But I wasn't even sure I'd get this one written as quickly as I did with such a crazy month, so maybe another will be done before the new year? Crossing my fingers!

I planned on this chapter going on for at least one more scene, but it ended up making sense to break it into two chapters, and it also meant that I could update that much sooner. I hope you enjoy, and as always... thank you for your votes and comments.

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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2016 | 9:10 PM | URIAH

Telling Tris about my feelings for Marlene was like a weight lifted. Back in Chicago, Tris and I never kept secrets from each other, apart from that pregnancy scare during our junior year. As soon as we arrived in Portland, that changed. I knew that we needed to make the roommate situation with Four work, so I hid my jealousy and played peacemaker. It felt so wrong to keep things from her, we were so out of sync. I'm not gonna lie, it sucked to hear that she had kissed Four...but I wasn't surprised.

The longer I live with those two, the more obvious it is to me that they belong to each other. There is always so much tension between them, you can feel it just walking into a room they are in. I didn't understand it until I felt the same thing between me and Marlene. That was when I realized it wasn't just because of Tris' resentment at the way he left. It wasn't their most recent disagreement, or the living situation. It was a sexual tension that Tris and I had never had between us.

I started to feel guilty anytime Marlene and I hung out alone...but I pretended not to notice, because I still enjoyed the time with her too much to stop. Anytime I hugged her, I told myself that it was totally normal for friends to hug...and ignored the fact that we held on long enough to come dangerously close to being considered "holding" each other. It was one day not long before Tris and I drove up to Mom's place for Christmas that I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I kissed Marlene's cheek, and felt the butterflies swarming my stomach when I saw her blush afterward.

After that, every quiet moment with Tris made me feel sick. I couldn't ignore what I now knew was missing. I was going to come clean with Tris as soon as we got back from Christmas at Mom's; I could finally see what a long time coming this had been, and there was no point in dragging things out. The thing about Tris's stubborn nature that I find admirable is that she doesn't give up; every time she gets knocked down, she gets straight back to her feet. I knew I would have to be the one to end things between us, because Tris wouldn't. But then Tris surprised me with the trip to Whistler and I couldn't stand to ruin it.

With all the secrets out now, the long drive back to Portland has been amazing. I didn't realize how much I had missed the easy friendship we have always had until I got it back. I have not wanted to bring up anything that might kill the vibe we've got going here, but we are less than an hour away from Portland. I know one of us has to bring it up.

"Tris," I say when we reach a lull in the conversation, "what are we gonna do about the apartment?"

She worries her lip and shakes her head. "I used up a lot of savings for the trip." She sounds like she is apologizing. I've told her not to a dozen times now, so I ignore it.

"We could just share the bed still," I shrug. "Doesn't bother me."

Tris scoffs and looks at me like I'm stupid. "Oh, I'm sure Marlene would just love that."

"Just 'cause we're in the same bed doesn't mean anything has to happen, we sleep in the bed together all the time without screwing," I tell her.

"Uriah," Tris sounds exasperated, "your new girlfriend is not going to want you sleeping in the same bed as your ex. End of."