The Act

15 sleep

Stuck to my bed I feel terror buzzing in my head. I open my eyes but wish I didn't when I see in the black room a older lady in the door way. Her gray long hair is floating and she has glazed over eyes.

She looks like shes been dead for months. He bone creek and pop and she starts slowly walking towards me. I try to move but I'm paralyzed. I try to scream but I can't.

I am powerless..

She looms over me and her cold boney fingers wrap around my throat. I try to fight but I can't. Something makes snap out of that world and back into another.  I open my eyes and see a worried look on kellin's face.

I put my hand on my throat feeling like I can't breathe and look away. "You're okay,  it was just a dream," he says and I break down into tears.

"H-hey, it's okay you're here. Nobody will hurt you here," he says and hugs me. He's in my lap as we hug and I can't stop crying.

"Every day it's all the same
Like no matter what the reason is
The seasons never change
I think of all the time I spend
Drifting far away and zoning out
As I'm clocking in," he starts singing as he hugs me.

"Tell my loved ones that I wish them well

There's a fire in this November sky
It's burning up, burning up
They'll remember me tonight
There's a fire in this November sky
It's building up, building up,
They'll remember me tonight
In this town, in this town," his voice is so clear and pretty. Its calming me down.

"Their alarms ring in the sky,
The voices sing their lullabies
As the ashes learn to fly (Ashes learn to fly)
This will be my holiday,
No more living with my fears
'Cause I gave them all away

Tell my loved ones that I wish them well

There's a fire in this November sky
It's burning up, burning up
They'll remember me tonight
There's a fire in this November sky
It's building up, building up
They'll remember me tonight
In this town, in this town

And the flames are running high
Red flashing lights, light up the sky
And they will run to where they collide
And melt away (melt away) into the night," the way he sings makes me think he should be in a band. I've never heard this song before, I really want to look it up later.

"There's a fire in this November sky
It's burning up, burning up
They'll remember me tonight
There's a fire in this November sky
It's building up, building up
They'll remember me tonight
In this town, in this town," he finishes and I'm no longer crying. Now I'm just watching him.

"You sound amazing.. thank you," I say feeling bad for waking him up. It's around 2 in the morning.

"Its okay.. are you okay? Do you get night terrors ofter?" He asks not getting off of me or pulling away.  My back is on his headboard and he's straddling me as we talk.

"Yeah I'm fine.. close to every night," I mumble and he looks into my eyes intensely.

"What do you usually do after waking up from one?" He asks and I shrug a little.

"Have a panic attack and cry myself to sleep?" I say and he frowns. He scoots down and puts his ear to my chest.

"Wh-" I start but he puts his hand over my mouth. After a moment he let's go and sits up.

"You're heart sounds normal," he says and I nod a little.

"Well you calm me down.. I'm usually alone when I have panic attacks," I say and he leans against me putting his head on my shoulder and face in my neck.

"Gosh you're so warm," he mumbles and I wrap my arms around him. After a little while he melts more again me and I get the feeling he fell asleep.  I scoot down so I'm laying and close my eyes with kellin on top of me.

-

I wake up and kellin managed to scoot down and now his face is against my stomach. My shirt is up and his hand is in my side as he sleeps. If he goes down farther and face wasn't to the side it would look like he was sucking my cock.

I shift a little and it wakes him up. He looks at my stomach and then my face. A dark blush spreads against his face and he pulls my shirt down and crawls up so he's next to me with his head on my shoulder.

"Goood m-" I start but he puts his hand over my mouth.

"I'm sleeping," he says and I look at him to see he's going back to sleep. The next hour I think all about kellin and text Jordan a little asking him when's our next show and if he'll go feed Oscar and walk him.

He asks where I am but I ignore him. Kellin is so adorable, I wish he could just understand being gay isn't bad. Then I might have a chance with him.

Kellin stretches a little as he wakes up and I look at him as he sleepily looks at me. He sits up and looks around. He gets up and looks outside. It looks dark? Its 9am..

When he pulls the curtain back more I see it's really stormy looking. Kellin's phone starts ringing so he picks it up and answers it.

"Hey vic," he says and I feel a bit jealous. I'm pretty sure vic likes kellin.

"Not yet I'm still getting ready," he says and gets back in bed.

"Okay. No.. I'm just going to sleep. No don't do that, I'll eat. Okay. Bye," he says and hangs up.

"Vic said we don't have practice today because its supposed to get really stormy," he says.

"And?" I say wanting to know more of the call.

"And he thinks I'm anorexic so he wants to come here and force me to eat," he says rolling his eyes.

Kellin is really skinny and doesn't seem to eat but I was thinking it was something else. But now I'm confused because that seems like a possible thing.

"Why don't you eat?" I ask and he frown.

"Its personal but I do want to eat.. I'm not purposely throwing up or not eating," he says and goes into his bathroom.