Steps to You

Kabanata 36

Leaving

I was crying in my Mom's arms. Everything just feels sad when I remember him. I saw how worried my family and friends are for the past few months and I never saw or heard Nathan again after that day.

Its finally my graduation day and the day after tomorrow I'm going to leave Philippines to start taking over my Mom's business abroad. I'm going to learn managing her modelling agency.

Mom, Dad, Leonn, Clarise, Ben, Gil, Jessica, Ricky, Harold and even Ma'am Charo shouted my name when I finally received my diploma with high honors. I just couldn't help but flashed a smile at them. Tears were forming around the corner of my eyes I'm not so sure if its because of him or the overwhelming support that I get from my family and friends.

Pagkatapos ng graduation we took our graduation picture class at nag paalam na rin sa isa't isa.

Clarise cried. "I'm gonna miss you so much. I won't be able to come in your afterparty tomorrow dahil uuwi na ako sa Cebu mamaya. My Mom's gonna kill me if i delay ko pa." Sabi niya sa kalagitnaan ng paghihikbi at pagyakap sakin ng mahigpit. Niyakap ko naman siya at di na rin maiwasang malungkot sa kanyang pag papaalam. Ben just comforted both of us.

"I'm gonna miss you po Ate Ayla." si Gil at niyakap rin ako.

"Alam niyo mag picture ulit tayo."Pagyaya ni Ben at kinuha ang DSLR camera sa kanyang bag at inutusan naman si Ricky upang kumuha ng litrato.

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagkuha ng litrato sa amin ni Ricky di ko naman maiwasang mapalingon sa likuran ng isang lalakeng nag lalakad palayo at palabas sa gym. He just look familiar at the back. Akala ko si Nathan ngunit alam kong hindi siya. The last rumor I heard about him is that he already left Philippines and took his family abroad managing their company there along with Selena his fiancé.

Nawala naman ako sa pag iisip ngunit agad rin nakabawi ng binigyan ako nag napakalaking bouquet ni Leonn. "Galing kay Hugh." at eto naman sa akin. "Sabay abot niya ng isang rosas." Wow ha ang effort talaga.

"Wow. Salamat ha nag effort ka pa talaga. Baka wala ka ngang binili at kinuha mo ito sa bouquet ni Hugh ha." Nag iwas naman siyang tumingin sa akin.

"Hi-hindi no. A-ano ka ba ate assuming ka talaga." Nahihiya naman siyang sumulyap kay Gil at nakita ko lamang ang dalawang malaking buoquet nitong dala.

"Alam mo wala ka sigurong pag asa diyan kaya wag ka ng umasa." Pangungutya ko sa kanya ng pabulong.

"Tss." Inirapan lamang ako nito ang nagdadabog na umalis. I think he knows na may nararamdaman si Gil kay Troy ngunit hindi lamang ito nagbubunga pa dahil hindi pa nangliligaw si Troy but despite that halatang hawak niya ang puso ni Gil.

Napailing nalang ako sa kapatid kong hopeless romantic.

"Congratulations again Ayla." Bati ng mga ka officemates ko.

"Thank you for coming guys." Na-appreciate ko talaga ang pagpunta nila dito kahit alam kong busy silang lahat sa trabaho nagawa parin nila akong puntahan.

"We're so proud of you anak." Si Mom at Dad naman ang lumapit sakin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

Pagkatapos namin kumuha ng mga litrato. Umalis naman kami sa campus at pumunta na sa hotel kung saan nag pareserve si Mommy para sa gagawing celebrasyon they know that I'm sensitive when Nathan's name are mentioned kaya naman wala akong narinig na kahit anong balita man patungkol sa kanya and I never bothered to check. Everything escalated quickly. Napunan ng masasayang memorya ang lungkot ko sa nakaraang buwan nang dahil sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. I'm so thankful at everything that they do. At gusto ko itong suklian sa pamamagitan ng pagpapakita sa kanila kung gaano na ako kasaya sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.

I cried every night because of him but that will be completely over because I'm leaving all the sad memories here in the Philippines and the moment that I will be back it will be a new me and only happy memories will remain with my family and friends.

Inisa isa kong pinatay ang ilaw ng aking condo at tuluyan na rin umalis. Tinulungan naman ako ni Leonn sa aking luggage.

Pag katapos niyang niligpit iyon niyakap ko naman ang kapatid ko ng mahigpit.

"I know I was harsh to you sometimes but I hope you know that I only cared for you." Sabi ko sa kalagitnaan ng paghikbi.

"I'm gonna miss you ate. Mom, Dad and I will surely visit you there once you're settled. Tsaka' ang panget mong umiyak." Sinapak ko na ng marahan sabay tawa at tango bago pumasok sa sasakyan.

I told Mom and Dad not to send me off dahil mas masasaktan lang akong iwanan sila at baka hindi pa matuloy itong plano ko.

Its not a permanent goodbye I told them that they could visit me there anytime.

"Ate Hugh told me that he and Rose will fetch you in the airport when you get there." Tumango lamang ako kay Leonn at nag pa alam na rin siya.

For one last time I looked back at tinignan ang kapatid kong naglalakad palayo at palabas ng departure area. I smiled to myself and wiped my tears away.

"Get in Ayla." Sinalubong naman ako ni Hugh at ni Rose sa airport tinulungan na rin ako ng dalawa sa aking luggage.

"Thank you both for fetching me."

Maarte namang nag beso si Rose sa akin pagkatapos ay hinila agad ang braso ni Hugh nang muntikan na akong yakapin nito. Umiling lamang ako kay Rose. Selosang girlfiend.

Napakamot naman sa batok si Hugh at di na magawang sawayin pa ang girlfriend.

Nasa back seat naman ako habang si Hugh at Rose ay nasaharap. Hindi ko maiwasang mapamangha sa nag tataasang gusali dito sa New York.

Indeed a city that never sleeps.

I arrived at 2am in the morning and it seems like the hustle and bustle city of New York still gives me butterflies at my stomach. I miss this.

"Thank you for driving me again. Its a long ride for sure. I know you guys are tired we can switch naman." Sabi ko kay Hugh. Tinignan lamang niya ako sa rearview mirror at malumanay na ngumiti.

He looks worried at Rose and I can't help but smile and give him this teasing look.

"You look happy Hugh. And I'm happy about that too."Sabi ko sa kanya. Ngumiti naman siya at bahagyang napasulyap sa girlfriend niyang nakatulog na sa biyahe.

I don't know what happened couple of months ago pero narinig ko na lang kay Leonn about Hugh's status in relationship. They eventually got caught but it seems that everyone just supports his relationship. According to Leonn, Rose pursued him constantly. I couldn't believe it at first since Rose and I didn't really had a good impression with each other. But I saw her sincerity when she defended Hugh about their relationship and threatened the media who keeps prying about their privacy.

Looking at these lovebirds makes me so much happy and I'm genuinely rooting for them.

"I also see that you're happy too despite what happened."I silently nodded and changed the topic.

"Come and visit me when you guys have time ha."

"Don't you want to live here in New York Ayla? Dito naman naka station ang company ng Mommy mo why go with the lengths of travelling across different states everyday? That seems tiring and seems like Tita doesn't want you to do that. May condo ka naman dito." I just shrugged my shoulder.

Yes, I have a place here but I'm planning to use that when I feel like it. I love New York but I want to live in a peaceful state like New Jersey. I'm not saying na chaotic ang New York. But I just want to spend my day wasting my time from travelling on a day-to-day basis kahit mahirap at hassle.

To stop myself from thinking about him. Sumasagi parin siya sa isipan ko and I cannot deny that kaya naman gagawin ko ang lahat upang tuluyan na siyang makalimutan dito. If I'm gonna think about him I'm going to New Jersey to punish myself.

Umiling lamang ako sa iniisip. Can I really moved on this way? Napakagat ako ng labi at mariin na pinikit ang mata at sinubukang matulog sa biyahe.

One thing's for sure. I'm gonna completely forget about him. For real this time.