Crazy in love

4-No one will ever love a crazy person

Louis stayed in bed a while longer after his alarm went off. He was conflicted. He wanted nothing more than to run to work so he could see Harry and at the same time, he dreaded it. He had to constantly remind himself that Harry was at the institution for a reason and that he probably just played him because he was bored or evil. He had this small voice inside his head telling him that wasn't true but that was just wishful thinking. He got up from bed with a sigh. It was time for another day at the looney bin.

Someone shouted for him to wait when he walked into the ward. Louis froze on the spot and slowly turned around. A friendly face met him.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Horan but you can call me Niall." The man smiled and extended his hand to shake Louis's.
"Louis Tomlinson. You're the psychiatric?"

"Yep, that's me. You must be new?" Niall beamed.

"Yeah, it's my first week." Louis answered and smiled back.

"I'm also new. I've been here a month. I took over after Dr. Hanson retired. I'm still trying to get to know the patients and the staff." Niall continued.

"Oh." Louis said.

"We should grab a beer sometime. I'd like to hear everything about your secret desires and childhood traumas that manifests through your ruff way of living." Niall looked dead serious.

Louis's eyes grew big.
"W..what? W...why?" Louis stuttered nervously. Secret desires? Had Harry told Dr. Horan about the shower incident?

"I'm just kidding!" Niall grinned. "Not about the beer tho."

"Oh. Ehm, yeah, we can do that." Louis answered relieved.

"Great! Gotta go now. See you some other time Louis."
Niall gave him a long look before he walked away. Was he suspicious? Louis gulped then he shook his head in amusement. Niall was a psychologist, not a mindreader. He was being silly. He just had to act more professional with Harry from now on.

He walked to door 28 and knocked on it. Harrys usual "come in!" sounded and Louis opened it and poked his head inside. Harry smiled a dimpled smile at him.
"Finally! I thought you'd never show up. I waited for ages!"

Louis stepped inside. He didn't return the smile.
"I had other obligations. How are you feeling today Harry?"

Harry frowned.
"What's going on Lou? Why are you talking like that?"

"Like how?" Louis asked, knowing exactly what Harry was referring to.

"Coldy." Harry pouted.

"I don't know what you're talking about Harry." Louis answered firmly.

Harry stared him down for a second before he opened his mouth to speak again.
"Knock knock."

"What?" Louis asked.

"Knock knock Louis." Harry grinned.

Louis rolled his eyes.
"Fine, who's there?"

"Cow says."

"Cow says who?"

"No, a cow says moooo."

Louis burst out laughing.
"That's the worst fucking joke I've ever heard."

"Yeah? Well, it made you laugh at least." Harry chuckled.

Louis walked over to Harry and sat down on the chair.
"Can I ask you something, Harry?"

"Anything." Harry smiled.

"How come you've been here for four years? I mean, there must be medication for Borderline?"

Harry's smile faded.
"I refuse to take any medication so I'm stuck here. Dr. Hanson won't let me out."

Louis wrinkled his eyebrows.
"Why won't you just take the meds?"

"Because I don't have Borderline and I don't want to be addicted. There are some pretty strong meds there." Harry answered with a frown.

Harry's body stiffened all of a sudden and he was staring emptily at nothing. He didn't blink.
"Harry?" Louis called him but didn't get a reaction at all.

He hurried over to him and waved his hand in front of his face. Nothing.
He took a hold of Harry's shoulders and shook him. "Harry!" No reaction. Harry was absent.

Louis was getting scared but when he was on his way out the door to find help Harry finally talked.
"Where was I?"

Louis turned around and stared at him.
"Oh my God! I couldn't get a reaction from you. You just stared and were totally out of it. You didn't hear me when I called your name. I'll find a doctor!"

"Don't. I had one of my episodes. It happens often. They won't do anything about it anyway." Harry answered with a trembling voice.

Louis hesitated but walked over to Harry and sat beside him on the bed.
"So this happens often?"

"Yeah. Since I was 18. This is my 'Borderline'." Harry answered and made quotation marks in the air.

He turned to look at Louis and he had tears in his eyes. Louis put an arm around his shoulders. Harry leaned his head on Louis and started to cry softly.
"Shhh, It's okay Harry. Breathe." Louis mumbled and held him closer. He started to stroke Harry's hair with his free hand.

They sat like that for a while until Harry finally calmed down. He wiped his face and sat up straight. Louis took his arm away.
"I'm sorry. I'm usually not a crybaby. I never cry nowadays. I don't know what came over me." Harry mumbled and refused to meet Louis's eyes.

"Hey, look at me." Louis said in a soft voice.

Harry looked up and they got lost in each other's eyes for a moment. Louis reflected over how vulnerable and beautiful Harry looked at the same time. His face was tear-stained, his eyes were puffy and he was so, so beautiful.
"It's okay to cry."

"It just feels so hopeless. My life slips through my fingers. I had so many plans. I couldn't wait to fall in love. I wanted to help people. I wanted to travel the world first and then settled down and have kids. But I'm stuck here. I'll never have that. No one will ever love a crazy person." Harry sighed, sounding defeated.

Louis's heart bled for the boy beside him.
"That's crazy talk. You'll have that someday. You're a wonderful person Harry. Someone will see beyond your diagnoses someday and fall in love with you."

"Yeah?" Harry looked at him with so much hope in his eyes that Louis felt like crying. "Yeah."