❝ スキ ❞ － haikyuu x reader one-shots

❝ coward montblanc ❞ － H. LEV

❝ coward montblanc ❞ by deco*27 ft. gumi

i loved you, but it's become
too ponderous - is that all there is to it?

Enjoy reading!

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Too much of anything is bad, too little of anything is also bad. Getting the right amount is good and healthy.

You preferred things that are "too much". You liked it when everything was excessive; extra soy sauce on your shoyu (soy sauce) ramen, extra jacket over your sweater, extra toilet papers even if you already have 8 packs at home. You hated when something was just "too little" or "good enough", it has to be "too much".

You loved your boyfriend because he gave you too much love, too much affection, too much attention. He pampered you with too much gifts which are mostly handwritten letters because you preferred if he didn't spend his money. He calls and texts you too much and say how much he misses you even if you only parted a few minutes ago. You loved that a lot.

Haiba Lev wasn't someone who would do anything half-heartedly. He poured every bit of his energy in anything to the point that it seemed that he could be passionate about everything, though he most specially gave you and volleyball more of his energy, and that was what made you love him even more.

There was never a dull moment in your whole relationship, it was full of sugary sweetness.

Yet you were growing tired of it. You were so fed up with everything that was "too much". It was as if you both were stuck in a stagnant phase, you no longer experienced any thrills, heck it felt like the whole thing is a "ultimate happy route" of some dating sim. You didn't fight, not once has he even made you sad, by now you were only forcing yourself to grin whenever he bounced around. It was so exhausting, you were so used to it that you've grown annoyed like it was a daily routine, almost like you can predict what was going to happen.

You tried something that you think he was against with.

You tried wearing short skirts when you went out with him on a date, trying to see if he'd be angry, or even scold you, instead he kissed your cheek and wrapped the sleeves of his jacket around your waist so you wouldn't be cold.

Then you tried showing up late for another date with him, as usual, he kissed your cheek and grinned at you before you two proceeded with the date.

Next, you tried rooting for Yamamoto during a practice, he took notice of this and pouted, admitting that Yamamoto was indeed great so he wouldn't be surprised if you were to cheer for him. You thought you'd get something different out of this, but instead he declared he'll try his hardest so you would only look at him, seemingly unfazed as he went on.

You tried other things which lead to nothing. You eventually gave up, deciding to confront him as you two were on your date in the park, watching the kids playing together as you both sat on the bench where the trees shaded the seat, his head on your lap as he fiddled gently with your hand while you sat still, unmoving.

"Lev," You called, earning a soft hum from him, head shifting slightly so he could see you, "I'm tired." He lifted his head immediately, looking concerned.

"Do you want to go home already, [YF/N]-chan?? We can if you want! Do you feel sick? Or—"

"Lev." You called again, cutting him off, "Of this relationship, I mean." He looked dumbfounded, but you proceeded, not planning to back down, "Everything's all the same, don't you think? You never get angry at me, you never get sad because of me. It's all happiness, everything's all happiness. It's too much. I don't even know if this is real. I'm so sick of it, Lev."

He only stared at you as your gaze fell to your lap, your fingers playing nervously at the hem of your skirt, unable to look at him to see what he looked like right now, but when he quietly called your name as he placed his larger hands atop yours, you had to look at him who was smiling like usual, though there was a hint of sorrow in it.

"You can never make me feel those things, [YF/N]," He breathed out calmly and gently, voice full of love and sweetness towards you, "I love you too much, I don't want to hurt you. Even if you meant you wanted to hurt me, I know you'll also be hurting." He held onto your hand and brought it to his lips, giving a soft kiss on your knuckles.

You felt like you've been unconscious for too long that you were only awakened now, guilt swimming on your stomach as you realized and understood what was happening. He was protecting you because you felt things too much, and that guilt would always eat you up whenever you did something that would hurt Lev and you were the reason, just like now.

"Lev, Lev, I'm so sorry." You cried out as you gripped onto his hand, he took this as a signal for him to hug you and he did, pulling your head lightly onto his chest. "Have I been hurting you, [YF/N]?" He asked while stroking your hair gently.

"I was only hurting myself..." You said, you felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled, then placing a kiss on top of your head. You wrapped your arms around his waist, breathing in his scent.

"I can only give you so much, [YF/N], I'm sorry," He said, his chin resting on top of your head, "I don't want to make you sad or anything but I didn't realize you already are."

"No, the problem is me, Lev. I was asking for something when I should have been contented with this." You pulled your head away as you looked up at him who grinned in return.

He kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, then your nose, he stopped when he was near your lips, "It's both our faults, then?"

"Yeah," With that, he kissed you on the lips.

Honestly you didn't even know your problem in the first place, you've already forgotten it. But somehow, you weren't so tired anymore, butterflies still flew on your stomach, and you loved him more than ever.