Sativa.

14. Visitation

Blaine was better with her Mother. Occasionally they'd go shopping or out to eat. Quality time was so rare she spent it talking about everything her Mother missed, from school to the new bands she liked, and there wasn't room for contempt.

Her Father was complicated. He wouldn't have any input in a conversation until a chance to prove he was right or smarter presented itself. While his self-righteousness helped him excel in business it was, otherwise, a barrier for the people closest to him.

When Clark got sick everything changed. Eventually his episodes subsided, allowing him visitation days, and without them Blaine may have never known her Dad.

Although their personalities were polar opposites, Clark and Dad shared similar interests in sports and reading. Many afternoons they sat at the park, helping Blaine with her homework while they ate dinner and talked football. Those days she felt like they were a real family.

Before Blaine graduated High School her parents divorced and her Father moved from Colorado to New York. But, to this day, she walks to the park with Clark before his volunteer work at the library. His life is confined to a single block -- the park across the street from the hospital and the library within walking distance -- but it works for him.

Shortly after moving in with Travis he noticed her routine. Blaine never thought, when he asked where she went every Thursday around three p.m., she would invite him to come along. Or that he would agree to.

"You're doing that thing again." Travis says, bumping his elbow against her arm.

"What thing?"

"That thing you do with your hair when you're nervous."

Blaine doesn't even notice her own habit. She tugs on a strand of hair tangled around her index finger and sighs. "I'm nervous."

She isn't ashamed of her brother but felt uncomfortable inviting her boyfriend to a mental institution for a family meeting. They walk side by side toward the hospital only a few blocks from the trailer park. The closer they get the worse anxiety gnaws at her gut acidly.

"What's wrong?" Travis bumps into her again.

"I haven't taken anyone with me to see my brother. I don't know how he'll react." Blaine winces at the second sentence. More like you don't know how you'll react.

"Then why did you ask me to come with you?"

"I don't know," she admits. "It felt right at the time."

He skids to a stop. She's surprised to see his jaw clench. "How 'bout I walk back home before we get too far then?"

"Don't be stupid. We're almost there anyway." Another wince because she's snapping rudely which will only anger him.

Travis turns and walks away. The easy choice would be to do this on her own, like she's used to, but it's different now. In her heart and in her mind. Usually she wouldn't mind being blunt but hurting Travis hurts her too. She doesn't want to take the easy way out.

"Wait." Blaine chases him down, standing in front of him so he'll stop. "I'm sorry. That came out wrong."

He doesn't say anything.

Blaine struggles to explain herself, always picking a fight to cope with her own conflicted feelings. This time she notices the hair twirling but she manages to look Travis in the eye. "Clark likes meeting people. I just don't know if I'm ready."

"Then why the hell are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"This. Us."