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the gestures and care were heartwarming and sweet, everything someone would want from a boy that they cared deeply for. these things always meant a lot, even if one didn't quite remember them happening.
that's how jungkook found himself, wincing at the sunlight and hiding under the blankets as his boyfriend lightly laughed.
"you did this to yourself."
"hoseok did this to me." jungkook whined. all he remembered clearly was the shots in his kitchen and then maybe a few more at the club. then there was something about tae being purple and he got scared he was in love with a mutant smurf having an identity crisis.
taehyung shook his head and pulled the covers back down. "drink." he held the glass out and waited for the ravenette to sit up, eyes squinted and bare torso exposed. god that made this so much harder.
eventually jungkook became less whiny, they ate together and the younger showered, soon the two of them sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. his headache was a dull thud behind his eyes, and jungkook never wanted to drink again, but he was still able to see the same trouble in his boyfriends eyes. whatever's been bothering him has still been there, and maybe now he was ready to talk about it.
as much as jungkook wanted to know, wanted to help, he couldn't avoid the fall of his heart and sudden urge to ignore everything he was hearing. it was something he wanted to kick and scream and fight with everything he had, but that's not how life works, and that's not how this would work. jungkook just held the brunettes hands, a small smile on his face as he nodded and bit the inside of his cheek. he understood it.
taehyung was surprised he didn't break down yet, that either of them didn't. maybe it was because they were hopeful, or maybe it was because they truly did love each other and this wouldn't change that.
but they still felt the same pang in their chests and tug at their hearts, there was a slight urge to vomit but that was more on jungkooks side and he was blaming the hangover.
jungkook didn't even realize he set up his camera, partially numb at the moment and just thinking about where he went wrong. he knew taehyung was having a tough time and instead of asking about it he just waited until taehyung brought it up. now all he could think about was everything he should have done.
the two of them sat down on the couch, facing the camera and seeing the little green blinking light — and then everything was okay.
jungkook suddenly realized why he wasn't having a total mental breakdown right now.
"we're engaged." he grinned at the camera and instantly got shoved off the couch by taehyung.
"no we're not!" the older yelled and drowned out jungkooks laughter.
he sat back up and giggled a little, there was something about being in front of a camera that made him comfortable. no matter the situation he just became more himself then he ever is in real life. taehyung smiled at that, and looked at the boy. their eyes locked, and they sat there in silence, as if asking, are we really doing this?
and they were.
and he said it.
"we're breaking up." jungkook broke the silence. they didn't look away from each other. it's like they weren't even filming it, and right now they finally realized what they decided to do — and that's when the tears came. they filled taehyungs eyes and his lip quivered before he could stop it.
"no." jungkook held his finger up in warning, "you're not allowed to do that, this was your idea." he could feel the pinch behind his eyes and he tried to focus on making jokes instead of completely losing it on his channel.
"i'm not doing anything." taehyung was thinking if he said this then the tears wouldn't fall. but they did, and they fell like rain on his cheeks and got lost somewhere below. he kept shaking his head and saying he wasn't crying, it was kinda funny and jungkook felt fucked up for even laughing a bit.
"stop laughing asshole." taehyung shoved him again and jungkook just laughed again. "see this is why we're breaking up, he's abusive." jungkook said.
"dude you can't say that some people will get offended." taehyung smacked the boys arm and started to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. jungkook winced a little and nodded, "true my bad. sorry." the shortest apology video on youtube ever.
"anyways," jungkook tried to think of what else to say. obviously viewers would want some type of explanation, although not entitled to receive one, they didn't think it was fair to just make this decision and not say anything about it. not when jungkook lived his life so openly with the people who loved to watch him. "we talked about this, and it seems like the only thing to do for right now."
taehyung was nodded, but his lips were very tight and he seemed like he was still trying to collect himself before speaking. "i asked jungkook if we could, break up." it seemed hard to say those words. "right now doesn't seem to be our time, not when i'm getting to leave for a new school and jungkook only started his life here in seoul not even a year ago." taehyung explained what they already talked about, it was brief, but the emotions and possibility seemed to be there for a while.
"and i know some people are wondering why he wouldn't be able to just come with me," taehyung said, even looking over at the ravenette now who was just picking at a loose thread on his shirt. he simply listened, and swallowed what felt like a fist of clay in his throat. god if he cried on camera he'd have to cut all that out. "but i cant ask him to do that, i can't ask him to drop everything he's built up here to start over again somewhere else." taehyung said. he was still looking at jungkook.
jungkook could feel his eyes on him, and he gave up trying to break the thread and just reached for the boys hand instead. they held hands for a second, not speaking until the older continued, "and jungkook is one of the most sweetest and kindhearted people that i've ever ever met, you guys know this, and i know he would do anything for me."
the way taehyungs voice broke at the end is what made a tear finally fall from the ravenette's eye. "but i just cant ask him to do this for me. jungkook loves seoul, he loves his editing studio and his apartment."
"and i love you." jungkook cut him off, looking up at the brunette. they looked at each other for a second, and then taehyungs lip stuck out in a pout before a few more tears started to trail down pretty tanned skin.
jungkook leaned forward and pecked the boys cheek. "and i love you enough to wait." he continued, their hands still together while the younger spoke. "and to let you go to tokyo, and find yourself the way i was able to find myself and what i love here in seoul. it's your turn."
maybe that's all they needed to say, it was all that was going to be said. because after that it suddenly became the moment that it hit both of them, and they cried together, until there were no more tears and only exhaustion left over. they kissed a few times, laying down on the couch and ignoring everything but each other. nothing but the two of them mattered for today, because after this they were no longer each other's.
