The Secret Identity Of A Nerd

Chapter 11: Trapped

[HER P.O.V.]

I closed my eyes and slowly leaned in towards the handsome guy in front of me. He had me in the palm of his hands and I didn't understand why I hadn't fought back. Why didn't I fight back, especially now that he had touched me?

When John touched me my trauma took little to no time to react causing me to push him away. Why is it that with Kendall I don't seem to act that way? Could it be because I wanted Kendall to touch me?

No, I don't understand. John had straight out told me he had loved me and he wanted to kiss me. I wanted to receive his kiss yet, I didn't let him. My body didn't let him. I wanted John to touch me and he ended up getting a different reaction from me.

What am I doing here in front of Kendall and letting him kiss me if he doesn't even have feelings for me.

All men are the same, they only do things at the spur of the moment and then in the end act as if it never happened. They only want to torment you because to them they find your pain entertaining. Why am I letting myself get swept off my feet by these two guys if they are all the same.

All guys are the same.

I stopped leaning towards Kendall and rushed myself off of the cement bench before I did something I regretted.

Kendall looked up at me and, for a moment, his expression was full hurt and wanting, but it quickly changed to puzzlement.

Was that just my imagination?

I shook my head to get rid of any further thoughts and blankly looked back at Kendall.

"I welcome you to come whenever you please and if you want me to sing to you I will. But don't you dare make a move on me again."

I didn't mean to make it sound so harsh but my fear got the best of me. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to become his play thing. It's bad enough that he know my secret and he practically has me at his doing. I don't want to become his toy as well.

He stared at me in surprise for a moment before his face contorted into anger. "Oh yeah, and why not? You don't want me to tell others about your secret, do you?" He stood up and made his way towards me. I stepped back but the distance between us didn't seem to grow, in fact, it seemed to shrink at his fast pace.

I began to panic and before I knew it I tripped over a pile of rocks. I looked behind me and noticed that I was about to fall inside the lake I had been gazing at before. I shut my eyes tight, readying myself for the impact I was about to make with the surface of the rippling water, when I felt a warm hand grab my right arm and quickly pull me away from my wet fate.

I crashed into the hard chest of someone and they enveloped their arms around me. I tried to push myself away but the strong arms that wrapped tightly around me didn't seem to permit me from doing so. I moved my face away from the chest of the person who was holding me and looked up to meet a smug Kendall.

"Don't you dare run away from me. Unless, you want a quick way getting your identity revealed?"

I felt my resolve to fight back instantly drain from my body at his threat as my eyes began to burn. I blinked multiple times as a horrible attempt at preventing my tears from falling. I locked my gaze with his and his smug expression instantly wiped off his face. He turned his head away in silence before I opened my mouth to speak.

"Why are you doing this to me, what is it that you want from me?" I managed to voice out without cracking. "You don't even have feelings for me and why would you towards someone who isn't even on the same level as you?"

He turned to look at me again and it was as if his stern gaze was telling me I was wrong. I found myself shocked at the sight of his eyes, the way they gave off this nostalgic feeling as if I had seen eyes like his before. That's when it hit me. They looked exactly the same way my father's eyes once looked like when he stared at my mother.

At this thought, something inside me suddenly clicked. Dark memories from my past crashed into my head and I found my body trembling at the sudden rush. My mind went reeling and the places of my skin that were currently burning under Kendall's touch felt like a thousand stinging needles were pricking me all at once. I quickly brought my hands up to his chest and pushed with all my might.

When I was freed from his grasp I turned to start running but my legs gave out on me. I landed on my hands and knees unable to bare the weight of my own quivering body. I turned to see Kendall coming my way and the fear that was slowly building inside me grew like a burst of lava from a volcano. I screamed at the top of my lungs in fright and curled up into a ball.

"Stay away from me! Don't touch me, don't hurt me!" I screeched before I broke into deafening sobs. My body shook uncontrollably and I began to feel my mind go fuzzy. When I felt a sudden gentle touch on my arm I gasped in shock. I opened my eyes in worry and fright and saw that Kendall was kneeling right beside me. I hastened to move away from him when he stopped me by grabbing my right wrist and wrapping his arm around my waist. I screamed in suffocating fear but as soon as I locked eyes with him I quieted my screams of terror. I looked into his eyes and they showed melancholy, fear, and regret. His wavering dark orbs shined in the light of the sun and his face seemed to radiate. At that moment, my body strangely calmed and the fear eating at my chest vanished almost instantly. His eyes shook and he narrowed his eyes sadly at me. The corners of his trembling lips lifted slightly into a small soft smile.

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry, all I wanted to do was be near you."

I felt my eyes widen as the breeze picked up around us, softly swirling the fallen leaves closer to where we were.

By this time the sudden attack I had gotten from my trauma left me leaving my body feeling heavy and my heart thundering in my chest.

My eyes frantically checked his face to see if the things he was saying were true and before I knew it he pulled me into his chest. I gasped at his sudden action.

His arms trembled but they kept a strong hold on me. "I'll always be there for you," he murmured softly into my ear. He slowly pulled away and I found myself having a hard time to break away from his gaze, "so please don't push me away."

His face slowly drew in towards mine and I slowly shut my eyes, hiding them under my lids from my surroundings. My heart was pounding at a dangerous speed but I pushed it out of my mind. When I opened my eyes they became wide at what I had seen. John was standing beside the building of Melody and he gawked in shock at the sight of Kendall and I on the ground. I was about to call out to him when my vision went dark and my body went limp. My consciousness faded into darkness but not before I heard the panicked calls from Kendall and John calling out my name.