tragical romance | bryles ♡

chapter sixteen - "it wouldn't be me."

after having a small talk with myles, i was honestly sure it wouldn't be me that they chose to be his wife. of course myles and i knew each other but for one, my mom and i don't have much money.. and two, there are so many other girls out there.

i lied about not seeing him at the party, i didn't want to even think about what happened.. even though i barely even remembered. all i know is that i kissed him and i'm still unsure how to feel about it.

anyway i finally got home after a while, told my mom the sad news that i wasn't picked to be his wife. she was okay but i think she was upset, who wouldn't? dad left us with practically nothing, i'd do anything to make money and to make her happy.. but sadly things just don't work out well for us.

things honestly have just been bad since he left. sure my moms holding it together but i can tell she's having a hard time.. so am i. i try not to show it because i know my mom is going through much worse, but things still hurt.

my dad was like a light in my life. he took me in when no one else wanted me - then he just up and left.. maybe nobody did want me? i still had friends in school but they were slowly dying off and moving on to newer people.. myles didn't even like me anymore. something must've been wrong with me. i bet it was my fault that my dad left too.

life just isn't fair, but i can't let this stop me from living my daily life. yeah maybe nobody likes or cares about me anymore, but there must be a bigger purpose in life than this right?

i don't know.

i just sighed to myself then continued on with my day. i finished up some work around the house then made my way to the beach. it's honestly my favourite place to just go and reflect on things. no matter what season it is, i love going there. it's something about the ocean that's just so peaceful.. at least as far as i can see. of course there's sharks out there somewhere but from my point of view it's just this calm patch of water. i get lost just starring at it.. kind of like myles' eyes.. shut up. i thought to myself. i don't know why after so long he still came up in my thoughts sometimes, i get we had our moment the other night but before that? it was so long since i last seen him but he still pops up. in dreams, good or bad, in pictures.. just literally everywhere.

who cares? i just laid back on the warm sand and looked up at the clouds. i really just wanted to feel nothing right now..

after my long and tiring day, i decided to go hangout with some old friends of mine. before i moved away, we used to love going to the beach.. so where else would be better to go in our spare time?

we walked for what felt like forever then we finally got to our usual spot. i started setting our stuff down as my friend, mason, sighed, "briars in our spot again."

"briar?" i looked up at him.

he nodded then whispered, "ever since she's been like depressed she just comes here in our spot."

"briars depressed?" i said quite loudly, earning a 'shush' from everyone around me, "how do you know?" i whispered.

"she's really just been distancing herself from everyone ever since her dad left. of course i don't know for sure but my sister was depressed before and that's how she acted," he shrugged as i frowned.

the same bright blue eyed girl i met a few years ago.. was depressed? that didn't make sense to me. she was the happiest girl i knew at one point and now she isn't? and her dad left? what? i cant even imagine what she's going through right now.. after losing my parents i guess i have more of a soft spot for people.

i stepped towards her then was soon stopped by my friend, "what are you doing?"

"going to see if she's okay?"

"no man. just let her relax, we'll go somewhere else," he picked up our things as our group started walking away.

"well i'll catch up with you guys in a few minutes okay?"

he rolled his eyes then followed, "he's gonna talk to her."

i sat down beside her, looking down at her, "what brings a pretty girl like you to the beach alone?"

"flattering me won't get you anywhere, myles," she sat up, fixing her hair, "besides, it's my choice to be here alone."

"why's that?" i frowned slightly, partially knowing the answer.

"i just like to come here and think sometimes."

"may i know what you're thinking about?" i moved closer to her as she raised her eyebrow at me.

"you want to know what i'm thinking about?" i nodded in response, "well.." she sighed, "i just feel like i have nobody."

"what do you mean? last i heard you were the most popular girl in school."

"i was.. but everything's changed," she pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly, "ever since my.. never mind."

i put my arm around her, "you can talk to me briar."

she looked up at me with her gorgeous eyes, "you probably don't care.."

i could tell she was being self conscious but i assured her that i did.

"well.. my dad left us a few months ago and things have just been hard," tears started forming in her eyes as she moved closer to me, "and ever since then i just feel like my friends don't like me and don't care about me anymore.."

i frowned as i started rubbing her back, "i'm so sorry b. i get what you're feeling right now."

"shit.. i'm being so rude," she sat up, "and inconsiderate. you lost your dad.."

"it's okay, we all learn and grow from things. it still hurts but, i know that he's always watching over me," i smiled a little as she laid back into my arms.

"are you sure it's okay if i talk about this then?"

"i'm sure."