butterfly lips。『 minjoon 』

twelve

》chapter twelve: the valley of yellow flowers《

★

NAMJOON found himself in the forest, by the tree that jimin and namjoon talked under. a smile was brought to his lips but that smile disappeared as quickly as it came. pain slowly spread from his heart and to his throat. it tightened his airways and he couldn't breath. he fell against the tree, his hand pressed into the rough bark of the tree. yet the more he leaned on it, the less steady he felt. namjoon closed his eyes and suddenly he couldn't feel the bark against his palm. he fell forward.

namjoon stumbled into a valley, a valley of yellow flowers. it felt so familiar, in the sense that he seen this somewhere. somewhere in someone else's eyes. eyes that weren't never meant to be his. yet it was by far the most beautiful place he has ever seen. soft green grass, a clear blue sky that could just be a ceiling made of sapphire gems.

he picked up a yellow flower from the ground but immediately the flower crumbled into ash. when namjoon turned around, the valley of flowers turned into a battlefield.

it was horrifying to witness, the masses of bodies on the ground. blood and ash staining the valley a putrid rusty color. he walked on the small path, bare of any bodies or flowers, a path that led him to two people. they were dressed in elaborate armor made of tungsten and diamonds, glimmering in the fire of the battlefield. despite their armor, namjoon could tell that these two people were not made for war. they were not made of violent storms and explosives. their eyes did not hold the glow of molten hot iron, angry and bold. instead there was something lovely about the two of them. something ethereal and amourous.

namjoon tried to get closer to, trying to make out the faces of the two people (or angels). yet before he could, he witnessed one of them stab a sword through the other's chest.

namjoon saw butterflies burst from the body, a large streak of light followed after and nearly blinded him; the scene changed back to the valley of flowers. he crumbled onto his knees, the pain in his chest returning. he gagged and wheezed, desperately trying to breathe. then a butterfly fell on his palm.

★

namjoon woke up with a gasp, his chest filling up with a strange feeling. he turned around, taehyung right beside him, sleeping peacefully.

'just a dream... just a strange dream namjoon.' he thought silently to himself.

namjoon stared at taehyung for a while longer and with a sad smile on his face. he reached to cup his cheek, gently caressing the soft skin. the skin warm and soothing under his fingers that trembled.

an overwhelming sense of guilt overtook him. namjoon didn't know what to do.

'i still love him... i love him so... but why... why am i feeling like it isn't enough anymore. like there is something missing.' he thought silently to himself. he closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. a dull pain in his chest appeared, spreading to his heart and lungs. a shuddered breath left him once more and this time it was accompanied by tears. 

then something came to mind, a thought that made his heart stutter. it tightened around his chest, and if he thought about it any longer, it would stop his heart.

namjoon reached up to cover his mouth, shaking his head as he turned on his side. he closed his eyes tightly, clamping down on his lips.

namjoon spent the rest of his night tossing and turning, trying his best not to wake taehyung up. he tried squeezing his eyes shut until they hurt and counting down and then up. he tried everything but nothing worked.

so namjoon stared at the ceiling for the remainder of the time, falling in then out of sleep. the dream never letting his mind get the rest it needed.

it was when the sun started to rise did namjoon crawl out of the warm covers of his bed. the dream of last night still vividly ingrained inside of his brain. never had he remembered a dream so vividly as this one.

namjoon splashed his face with water before looking up at the mirror. his brown eyes had dark bags under them, a product of a sleepless night. he pressed a finger to the darkened skin. he chuckled, his brows furrowing, etching deep lines into his forehead. the ghost of a smile faded quickly, the corners of his lips downturning like petals on a withering daisy. he sighed, bowing his head down.

butterflies...

the valley of flowers... no yellow flowers.

namjoon groaned, slapping his hands over his face.

“it's just a dream... just a dream. means nothing if the gods couldn't care less about meddling in human affairs.” namjoon shook his head, silently laughing to himself. they only care about playing as matchmaker.

“oh.” namjoon whispered to himself. that must have been the dream's meaning then? its entire purpose.

namjoon swallow thickly not wanting to think any longer. he didn't want to confirm it. not when he still loved taehyung so much... and not when that person is— namjoon gasped, falling to his knees. he shook his head, coughing and gasping for air all of a sudden.

namjoon clenched his eyes shut, mouth completely ajar, the veins on his neck and forehead protruding. the louder he coughed, the redder his face seemed to get.

namjoon felt something get pushed up his throat, something dry and dead. he pressed his fingers to his throat, trying his hardest not to claw at the skin.

with one final, awful, and desperate heave, namjoon coughed up a dead yellow flower.

taehyung was on the other side of the door, his hand over his mouth. there was a deep sadness in his eyes. it was all too good for it to be true. he could never find a love, not in namjoon. who's soul was tied to someone else. once the coughing ceased, taehyung stepped out of his place of hiding. he walked slowly, footsteps so light that not a sound came from the floorboards. he gently wrapped his hands under namjoon's biceps and helped him up.

silently they both made their way to the kitchen table. taehyung decided to brew some warm tea. something sweet to soothe their trouble minds.

“i knew that i... you, you weren't meant to be with me. ” taehyung started out, pouring the tea into two porcelain cups. “so... do you know who it is?” he asked, looking up.

namjoon goes silent. for a minute, not a word was shared between the two of them.

“jimin. i didn't realize it until i kissed him."

taehyung smiled sadly, his slender fingers curling around the cup. “when did that happen?”

“yesterday... i... i know it's inexcusable. i just— i don't know.”

“it's okay with me if you found your soulmate, i'm used to that. i'm just disappointed it took you so long to figure out that it was the person in front of you.”

namjoon looked down, not saying anything. “how... how should i tell him that i know?”

“it's not how but when, and i think you should do it now.” taehyung got up. “you know what happens when people wait this long.”

namjoon stood up suddenly, panic written all over his face.

“i-i... taehyung— i'm sorry! i need to-”

“just go.” taehyung left his cup on the counter, walking to his bedroom.

namjoon felt his heart break. he couldn't deny the fact that he was still... he was still in love with taehyung. yet with one final look, namjoon turned around and walked out the door, shutting it as gently as he could. not wanting taehyung to hear him leave.

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a/n
so sorry for the late update, school has been stressful and my home laptop's charger is broken. tomorrow im taking the act, so i wanted to finish this chapter before then.