butterfly lips。『 minjoon 』

thirteen

not edited~

》chapter thirteen: forced fate《

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IT took namjoon twelve minutes on bike to get to jimin and hoseok's shared apartment. by the time namjoon arrived, his thighs burned from the fast pedaling he had done to get there.

he swallowed thickly, looking up at the apartment complex. it loomed over him like a deity, tall and overpowering his ant like existence.

his heart thumped harshly against his ribs, urging him to continue forward. he knew that every second counts now and jimin can't afford to wait any longer for namjoon.

how long has it been since they first met? his heart ached at the answer that echoed in his mind. two months.

with a shake of his head, he climbed off his bike, his thighs aching with every movement but it didn't matter. it'll pass soon. he slowly dragged it to where the other bikes were set and locked it in place. namjoon nervously wiped his sweaty palms against his pants, taking a step back before he turned to the entrance.

'what am i supposed to tell him?' namjoon asked himself, rubbing his fingers against the dip in his chest. something ached painfully inside him, as if little roots decided to make themselves at home in the branches of his lungs. he walked inside, too stuck inside his head as he thought about jimin and jimin only that he ignored the person in front who greeted him.

he made his way to where the elevator should have been. immediately his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. the elevator had a big red sign that said 'out of order'. his shoulders dropped, turning his head to the direction the arrow pointed to.

tall metal rails loomed over him, guarding the wooden stairs that led up. he hesitantly stepped closer, shoulders hunching in defeat.

namjoon ran up the four flights despite his thighs screaming at him not to. his arms barely kept him from dropping and rolling down the stairs.

he was out of breath by the time he reached the familiar door. the golden numbers gleaming under the led lights as if it were a lighthouse guiding the sailor to shore.

namjoon bowed his head down, hand pressing into the doorframe. he cleared his throat, reaching up to knock on the door.

he heard a quiet cough, immediately namjoon turned around to look at the source of it. his breath got caught in his throat.

jimin stood there, in the middle of the grey hallway, with a nearly empty box in his hands. his cheeks were pale as snow, even more hollow than before, his usually pink lips now a soft lavender, and he had heavy bags under his eyes. he looked so fragile, standing there.

'how could his condition decline so badly and so quickly?' namjoon's face contorted into something that showed pain, a hand quickly covering over where his heart. he stood up straight, taking a step closer but jimin took a step back. not allowing for the space between them to close.

"what are you doing here?" jimin asked, his voice rather cold. yet there was a tremble to it that namjoon could barely catch.

"i..." namjoon paused, the words lodged in his throat. he started with the easiest. "i told taehyung... about what happened."

the box in jimin's hands fell to the ground with a loud clang. there was a sharpness to his eyes, a red tint coloring his face and ears pink. "why!? why did you come here then? do you think that because you're no longer with taehyung you're free to run to me? i'm the last person you should see." the butterflies clashed with the guilt and anger, a storm of emotions roaring inside jimin's weak chest. he could feel another coughing fit arising.

"only because it's you. you should have been the first." jimin's heart stuttered, his eyes widening as he stared into namjoon's face. the butterflies fluttered, heart thumping madly against his chest. his soul feeling things his mind felt guilty for.

namjoon whispered. "i'm sorry jimin."

jimin didn't let any of the feelings that his soul poured into his body intoxicate his mind. his lips down turned into a frown. namjoon doesn't love him. it's simply the bond.

"you're sorry? i don't need any of it... you don't mean any of it. our..." jimin gritted his teeth, bearing through the pain that struck inside his chest. "our fate is forced. it's a destiny that was foolishly- no purposely set by the gods to make fools out of us."

namjoon stumbled back as if the words were like slaps to the face. a part of him knew that jimin was right, then another part of him didn't want jimin to die because of him, then this other part. a particular one, couldn't help but long for jimin. the part that foolishly can not live without his soulmate. yet it did not speak. "jimin, forced fate or not, you're going to die if you stay away from me! if you force yourself to leave!"

jimin tilted his head down, shaking his head, "i don't want to... i don't want to be with you because i have to. i don't want to force you to be with me- don't you love taehyung?" he asked as he looked up, tears sparkling in his eyes.

namjoon stayed silent, looking down at his hands. "jimin... that doesn't matter."

jimin's soft face contorted into something harsh and angry. "how can you say that!? you don't even know me! you don't even want to be with me!" he cried out, every word that left his lips felt like a stab to his own chest. the butterflies fluttering violently inside of him, desperate for him to stop. "you're only here because you can't bear to have a guilty conscience... right?"

namjoon took several steps closer, his eyes widening. "no! no..." he whispered at the end.

jimin smiled pitifully. the string in his chest snapped and pain seared throughout his chest. it burned like an angry wildfire. "just leave-" he could no longer speak as dozens of dead butterflies bursted out his mouth. namjoon watched absolute horror as jimin collapsed onto his knees, retching loudly as butterflies, blood, and bile spilled from his lips.

tears immediately stung namjoon's eyes as he quickly ran towards jimin, taking him into his arms. he could feel his bones, so fragile under his palms. "jimin! jimin! how do you expect me to leave!?" he cried out, his own breathing becoming harsh with pure anxiety. he couldn't lose jimin- no, not because of this entire misunderstanding.

jimin's fingers curled around his sweater as his shoulders shook with every heave. his vision became blurry but he could clearly hear namjoon's voice. in fact that was all he could really focus on. he never expected such a calm and soothing voice sound so... discomposed and terrified. so full of tears and pain.

"jimin! please stay with me." namjoon begged over the ugly retching and coughing, the puddle of blood and bile and butterflies only getting bigger. the fabric under his knee became soaked with that substance. his fingers trembled as he dialed for the ambulance.

jimin felt tears hit the back of his head, namjoon's voice soon becoming a distant muffled sound in his mind. he felt the world turn dark. as if someone flickered the lights off.