BITE - a snowbaz fanfiction

11

Simon Snow, it hurts to see you when you're so terribly sad.

It hurts to see you cry and know that there's nothing I can do or say to heal your broken pieces.

I can never escape the way I love you, the way that it hurts to see you feel anything that's not in my control.

Simon Snow, it hurts to know that you're flammable like me, that you're immortal like me, and that you have to live a horrible endless life like me.

It hurts to fear every day that I'm not good enough for you, that someday, in hundreds of years, you will move on.

I will never move on from you, my love.

You are my sun, and though I am flammable, your gravity is such a strong pull that I fall into the burns every second of this life.

You are my sun, and my world revolves around you.

But if you are the sun, you revolve around no one. The sun does not revolve around the moon, no.

The sun is so ravishing, my sun is so lovely, that he outshines the moon's beauty.

If I am the moon, and you are the sun, this is a one-way relationship.

So I pray that, if you must leave me, let me keep some of your light.

Simon Snow, it hurts to see you so somber, because it saddens me as well.

Simon Snow, when you're crying on the sofa because you're so afraid to lose me, all I can do is say that I'll never leave you, but I can never promise you.

I will never voluntarily leave you, my love.

But this world is a dangerous place, filled with fire, and I am flammable, dear.

I am so flammable, and the world burns me.

I am so flammable, and you, Simon, you burn me. Like a vampire that fell in love with the sun.

But I will take your burns a million times if that's what it takes to keep you with me, to keep you mine.

Ever since that first day I saw you, when I was pushed towards you, when I was told that you were my enemy, I—

I fell in love with you, Simon.

I fell for you, I fell so far.

I was born in a messed-up century, but you, Simon, happened to be born when I was, and that's—

I'm so lucky.

I'm so lucky that, one day, you fell for me. Everything, everything changed after that day in the forest, the fire all around me, around us.

Not only did you kiss me, you saved my life.

Because you, Simon, are my sun, and you, Simon, are my world.

How I wish you could see the way I look at you when you're not looking.

Because even when you love me, I fear that your love will never be the same.

Will you ever love me like I do?

Simon wipes the last tear from my face and holds me tightly. He tucks a fallen strand of hair behind my ear and laces his fingers between my own.

I fall into him, like I always do. My head falls onto his chest and I hold onto him like he's pulling me out of a flood.

"Basil," he murmurs into my head.

I look up to him.

"I hope you know, you're not a disaster like you keep telling yourself. You're a nightmare, but you're not broken, okay?"

You're not broken, he said.

He's my love forevermore, he sang to me yesterday.

Simon Snow, you're my love forevermore.

He slips out of my arms and shuffles over to the corner of my room, where my violin and guitar lay untouched.

He picks the guitar up and makes his way back to me. "I've been working on something," he says quietly.

And then he holds the instrument up to his chest, hands trembling at the frets.

Then he's playing it. Snow, playing my guitar, a sight that I'd have never expected to see.

Oh.

That's—

"Cherry Wine," that's what the song is.

Our song.

The song that played when we first danced, at our Leavers Ball. "Cherry Wine," Hozier's little lullaby. A song I'd never heard of before in my life, but one that I fell in love with since that day.

"The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine," Simon sings quietly.

I've never really heard him sing, and I never expected it to be so low and rough yet so soothing and soft.

It's perfect.

It's only simple chords, nothing special, but it's so perfect. "Sweet and right and merciful, I'm all but washed in the tide of her breathing."

Merlin, this perfect boy is mine.

I stand up right as he finishes the last note and cup his jaw with both my hands, then I lean into him, right against his lips, and whisper, "You're so perfect."

The last thing I see before I close my eyes and kiss him is that look in his eyes, the little glitter of tiredness along with such love.