Y/N's POV
"I'm sorry, Taehyung" I apologized and he knows the reason why. We know the reason.
"I agreed to date you because of the deal. Nothing more than that"
Although he is trying to cheer me up, comfort me, and help me. I can't return his feelings.
"I'm sorry. You know it as well" he was silent and just looking at me. I feel awkward so I looked down, playing the hem of the blanket.
"So, I guess this is also a good opportunity to revised the deal. Are there other things you want that I can fulfill?" I may sound so harsh for saying that statement but it is for the best.
"Wow. Those efforts were gone in a second" he said with a hint of sarcasm.
"I'm so dumb to think that you have a slight feeling for me. That we can be together. And now you are using your current situation to make your way out. I feel used. I feel like a loser right now" he was disappointed and dumbfounded.
"Taehyung no, even if I'm in this situation or not, it has nothing to do with me rejecting you. It is much more personal so please don't misunderstand. I didn't mean to hurt you or just use you for my gain I am honestly afraid to lose you but I can't really go out with you. Please understand me" I said looking down. This is hard. My chest is hurting and I feel like being suffocated by my sobs.
"I'm not trying to use you. You are important to me. You are special. You've helped me through a lot of times and sometimes you go beyond that. Meeting you feels like a miracle for me. Without me knowing, you changed me. You changed my way of living. You thought me how to open up my feelings and relying upon others doesn't mean becoming weak. I am gladder that I met you. You are special to me but I can't go out with you, I'm sorry" I sincerely apologized for not accepting his feelings.
"Don't apologize. It will make me even more upset and rejected" he took a deep breath and sigh. He ruffled his head then shouted. "argh!" I was surprised by him. My sobs and tears are finally subsiding.
"Are you alright?" the first thing I said to him after I rejected him. Duh? Are you stupid self?
"Should I really answer that question?" he looked at me annoyed. "No" my quick response.
I keep playing with the hem of the blanket and absentmindedly beating my lip.
"Stop doing that, you are making it hard for me to hate you," he said so I look at him with a confused expression. But then I regretted it because he has a soft smile on his lips while looking at me so fondly.
"I can't understand you" I stared back at him. The fondness did not leave his eyes.
"What?"
"I just rejected you"
"So"
"You should be angry at me right, or even be upset"
Maybe this guy doesn't love me like what he said. I'm starting to have doubts now.
"I'm angry and upset"
"Sir, from what I remember an angry and upset person doesn't show a smile on their face"
"Every individual is different"
"I'm now having a second thought whether me bawling my eyes out is worth it or not," I said with sarcasm.
"Your tears are precious so never cry again"
"I doubt you really like me"
"I don't like you," he said which made me angry.
