Y/N'S POV
I always drove myself to the edge, not giving any thought about giving up. When did I start thinking like this? Yeah, that time when Namjoon opened the door, and light started illuminating my dark world. Lonely and alone. Hurt and pain clouded my life but then, he woke me up. That time I started to think and moved on, or so I tried. I began reaching for a reason to live. Without it, I thought I wouldn't be able to endure everything.
Namjoon told me to live for the sake of the people that I loved, which now is no longer by my side. I drank myself to work and occupied my life with lots of responsibilities. I tried to help people who are in need like what Seojin did, stretching her arms to someone who's in need. Being kind to the employees, treating everyone as family and being responsible like my parents. Just like them, I desperately live, the way they did. I don't know if I was able to do that.
I was indebted to them and I can never pay or exchange anything with the same value as their sacrifices for me, so I chose to live for their sake. For the sake of the people that I met and cared about. My only wish was to make everyone around me happy.
Even if I know nothing of sort. Even if I can't feel that happiness as well.
"Aren't you tired? Namjoon asked me every time before going home. "No, I'm having lots of fun working" I heard him sighed as a response to my answer. "Don't put too much fight to it alone, you can lean on me" he said.
Remembering his words, before I didn't read his words too much because I thought that he was only talking about my role as a young President, but it runs deeper and I only realized it around this time.
When people asked me that question.
"aren't you tired?"
I would just smile and grit the exhaustion.
How can I be tired? I don't have time to be tired. I should not feel tiredness. If I don't do it immediately, if I didn't do my best in everything then it will be wasted, so I should not take my spare time for granted because if I just blindly follow the flow, there might be a chance that the flow will stop and things will vanish again.
So, don't stop, keep working, keep giving, and keep running not taking everything for granted. We don't have all the time, there might be the time that tomorrow won't come or the things you have now will be gone tomorrow or the person you cared for, will disappear the other day. So, do everything now.
It was because tomorrow was uncertain that I'm always anxious about every day. It was because I can't forgive myself for taking everything for granted that I taught myself not to waste the time that I have.
I run and run on to the point that I forgot who I am in the beginning. Who am I again? what am I doing? For whom am I fighting?
For my parents?
Yes, I should keep the company which they loved to become known in the world. To tell the world that my parents exist.
For Seojin?
I need to keep living in order to preserve the kindness that she once given me, so I started giving out in return. Trying to give everything that I can.
Showing kindness, taking responsibility because that is what they'll do if my parents or Seojin were on my shoes.
But at some point, I got tired.
As I watched the sleeping form of this man beside me, who is hugging me tightly, showing how vulnerable he is, only to me. The him at the moment needs only me. As if a child that afraid to let go of his mother. Afraid to be abandoned and be left.
