Quality One Shots For The Entire Family

Onision x Reader

It was my first day of senior year, and the day was finally over. After saying goodbye to my besties, I begin to walk home. I still had quite a ways to walk when a man in a 2001 Honda Civic pulls up next to me.
He rolls down his window. "What's cooking good  looking?"
I stare at him for about a minute.
"Are you gonna get in my car or not dumbass I mean I'm wasting precious gas here right now and you're just looking at me."
I decide to get into his car. I shift around a bit. He stares at me.
"Thanks... For giving me a ride... By the way." I finally say.
"Who said I was going to give you a ride lmao. I might as well be kidnapping you as we speak."
At this point we were driving extremely fast, I'm almost certain we were speeding.
"Well... ARE you going to kidnap me?" I ask.
"No aha I would never do that. Unless...?"
"Yeah no I'm not in the mood for being kidnapped at the moment. I live just down that road by the way." I point to the road that we're approaching quickly, about to pass.
He Tokyo drifts onto my road and I grab the handle thingy that's on the ceiling idfk what it's called.
He pulls up to my house. I grab the door handle to try to exit the car. It's locked.
"Well?" He asks
"Well what?"
"Arent you gonna ask for my number or something"
"Why in the literal hell would I want to do that?" I ask.
I punch his window. It breaks. I crawl out of the window.
My mother Karen opens the door as I climb the stairs. She throws several duffle bags out the door at me, which I assume has my stuff in it. She is smoking a cigarette, which she promptly removes from her mouth and puts out on my arm.
"Get out of my house you SLUT! I don't want you in my house you ugly useless BITCH" I, totally unphased, grab my bags and begin to head out. The guy is STILL IN MY DRIVEWAY FOR SOME REASON, and he walks up to Karen and left hooks her in the fucking face. Boom.
The guy picks me up bridal style and throws me into his Honda Civic. We drive off.
"Wait I forgot my bags" I say.
"I don't give a fuck bich I'll buy you all new things. I am incredibly rich"
"Oh cool lol. Where are we going, btw?"
"I'm taking you to my house. I'm adopting you."
I was shocked. I don't even know this man's name!
"I don't even know your name!" I say.
"I'm Greg. But you can call me... Onision." He pulls out a pair of aviators and places them on his face.
We get to his house where Onision proceeds to immediately take off his shirt and told me to look at his "VEGETARIAN BODY".
Cool.
"Anyways, wanna have sex?" He asked me.
"Bruh I am 17"
"That's alright, I like em young ;)))" he states
"Well in that case-"
And then Blaire White, Chris Hansen, Repzion, Jacqueline Gwen and Strange Æons bust down the door!!
"Oh my God!!! Why are you guys here?!" I exclaimed.
"We're here to Cut onions and give bunions." Repzion said.
"And we've already given enough bunions" Blaire finishes.
CHILD anyways so,,,
They all destroy Onision and they adopt me. They also reveal to me that they are all, in fact, in a band together and they tour regularly.
The end