Quality One Shots For The Entire Family

Bob Duncan x Mrs. Russo

I have a bad case of crabs.
I caught them when I took a trip to the local whore house. I've been to a HELL of a lot of whore houses in my 37 years of life, but the one in Denver? Amazing. Outstanding. 9/10. -1 point for the crabs. Anyways.
I had to call a bug exterminator to get rid of my crabs because I be burning and itching down there, you know? Peaches type beat. So I was browsing the newspaper and I found some exterminator called "Bob's Bugs Be Gone," so he sounds pretty promising to me. He's coming today. Within the next hour actually. I'll update you!

Update: it has been 4 hours and he's still not here :| not funny. Omg wait is that- is that him? Wait he's so hot omg omg omg DADDY!???
he's coming up to my door hold AWN-

"Hello :)" I said.
"Hi, I'm Bob Duncan. I'm here to exterminate your crabs?"
"Yes, yes please come in Bob. I'm Theresa. Theresa Russo :)" I gave him a seductive smirk.
"Oou I can smell the crabs from here girl-"
"Yes yes I know I'm sorry but maybe you can... Fix me?" I winked.
He rummaged through his tool box and grabbed some anti crab spray.
"Let's get to work, Theresa ;)" he said
After like 45 minutes my crabs were gone and he put them in a container. I told him I was going to make a crab apple pie out of them. He said he'll help, he loves to cook apparently.
After the crabs were gone, we sat on my couch and talked about our lives. He talked about his stupid dumb ugly Trump supporting wife and I nearly vomited. Gross. Nasty ass. I asked why he hasn't left her yet and he said because of the kids...
"Screw da kids, Bob. I left all my kids in Manhattan with my fat gay husband. What a LOSER am I right?"
"You know what, Theresa?" He said, "I think I will. And I think... I want to stay with you. I love you."
I gasped! "Bob! We just met I... I don't know about that."
"Theresa, from the moment I exterminated your crabs, I KNEW. you are wife material."
He pulled a washer from his tool box and put got on one knee. He put it on my finger.
"Theresa Russo, will you marry me??" He asked
I started crying ...
"OMG YES BOB OMG OMG YESSS"
we made out passionately.
Then we baked our crab apple pie in peace :P