lemonade | ethan

thirty three

an abrupt and loud knock on my bedroom door pulls us apart. i whip my head toward the door knob, and now i'm thankful that i had secretly locked it prior to our conversation.

i walk toward the door, preparing to open it. i look back at ethan for a spilt second, how he's still stunned from our kiss.

unlocking the door, i open it just enough. "ruby? what're you doing up here. there's no guest allowed upstairs."

she gasps, immediately apologizing as if she didn't know. no guest upstairs during events is a common north side manner. if anything, she should know.

"i'm sorry, i was just looking for a bathroom." she claims. we have many bathrooms downstairs. "oh! ethan, there you are." she exclaims, pushing past me and into my room.

"come on in." i mumble under my breath.

she huddled against ethan, whispering things to him that i couldn't quite make out. i clear my throat in order to pull them apart. "bathrooms that way." i point out to ruby.

she fakes a chuckle. "thanks, devon. ethan, coming with?" she asks, turning around to face him.

he sighs, slumping in his seat. "i'll be right down." she smiles at me maliciously before leaving the room.

i watch as she slowly shuts the door, as if she was testing my patience. looking back at ethan, i notice he's already looking at me, a sympathetic look on his face.

"you can go." i reassure him. "wouldn't want to make her wait."

through it all, i told myself that even though i did kiss him, i didn't know if he was hooked on ruby either. i mean, he's following her around like a lost puppy.

a sad look appears on his face. he sighs, getting up and walks towards me. "i'm sorry." he whispers to me, before kissing my forehead and leaving the room.

LEMONADE

"i'm sorry to hear that." mel shakes her head. "i wonder what's up with him. what's made him so secretive all of a sudden?"

i raise an eyebrow in confusion. "what do you mean?"

she shrugs. "he obeyed ruby so quickly. you would think he was independent, making his own choices." she explains. "that's just the kind of guy he is."

"right." maya says. "why would ethan want to leave you right after you just told him that you want him? it just doesn't add up. i told you ruby is manipulative."

"now, let's not jump to conclusions." melanie says.

maya shakes her head. "trust me, mel. she's dangerous. ethan was so addicted to the feeling of having devon by his side. ruby is definitely convincing him otherwise." she rolls her eyes.

a wave of sadness washes over me. and now i can't believe i kissed him. i wanted it to matter to the both of us, but now i'm not even sure if it mattered to him as much as it would've a month ago.

"excuse me." the next second, i'm up and out of my chair, rushing to the bathroom so i could hide away from all the guests. i didn't feel good, not after that conversation.

i didn't look behind me, but i could tell melanie was scolding maya on her use of language, thinking maya had made me upset.

i lock the door behind me, taking in deep breaths as i lean against it.

i want nothing but the best for him. imagining the outcome of it not being me makes my heart hurt so much.

why does your heart ache for someone you know nothing about?

i know he's kind. and gentle.

i know he's secretly insecure of his smile, yet it's one of the things i love most about him.

i know he's super sensitive, yet shields his self to hide who he really is. he's mysterious, yet super easy to read. he's loyal, and values his family and friends. he doesn't really know how to use his words to describe how he feels. he makes everlasting memories that make you so easily fall for him.

that's where you're wrong. my heart aches because i know him. i know he's stuck.

"devon?" maya knocks on the door. i glance in the mirror, noticing how sad i looked. i splashed my face with cold water to get rid of some redness in my cheeks and eyes. "dev?"

i open the door after drying my face. "hey, maya. sorry for that, i just needed to be alone for a while."

maya has a sympathetic look on her face. "devon... i shouldn't have said that and i'm sorry. but, don't hide and be sad by yourself, okay? talk to mel or myself. we're here for you."

i smile, telling her i will.

after a while, we gather everyone into the living area, the largest area in the home. to begin, i handed nick and melanie two balloons in which they'd pop and the gender will be revealed.

as i explain what will happen, the doorbell rings and someone goes to open it.

"we gather today, not as neighbors in this small town, but simply as our family and friends." i see from the corner of my eye, melanie's family walk in. "thank you, everyone for coming. it really brings warmth to my heart that so many people have come to witness the reveal of our baby." melanie says, gripping onto nick's hand.

i notice her make eye contact with her parents, and suddenly i'm trying not to cry.

"let's countdown!" nick exclaims.

with every number going down, the nervousness in melanie and nick's face made me nervous as well, even though i had known the gender already.

once the pop the balloons, blue confetti flies everywhere resulting in a series of cheers. nick's friends go to hug him, excitedly.

melanie, hugs me first and it takes me a while to notice she was crying.

her parents embrace her in a hug. it made me happy knowing her parents were finally starting to ease up on the fact that she was having a baby boy.

i didn't think they'd show, and now i'm glad they did. mel deserved to know where she stood with her parents, and now i think she's one step closer to finding out.

we share laughs as we pick confetti out our hair, congratulating the parents on their baby boy. in this moment, everyone in this room was happy. it made me happy.

this feeling. why couldn't we have this feeling forever?

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

devon is CEO of furrowing her eyebrows
ethan is CEO of sighing

hello guys. it's so weird being 17, for real. i feel like 17 is the age where everything is supposed to be 'living life', 'partying', 'boys', you know?

the age i write about most is 17, because that's the age you live. but it's so dull, my life that is.

i just wish i could be like these girls i write about and live my life to the fullest. there's nothing interesting happening. smh.

anyway, thank you guys for the birthday wishes. ily all <3