Comedy 101

Chapter 14: The Tryouts

In my school, they do tryouts in backwards alphabetical order. I was near the beginning. At around 1:45, kids with last names S through P were called to the gym.

On the way down, I saw kids holding trumpets, teapots, fake genie lamps, berets, costumes, big telephones, and even one kid carrying a jumbo bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and three golf clubs.

When I got to the gym, I sat down in a seat behind three teachers. The three teachers were judges. I think it's pointless to have judges when everyone gets in, but whatever. Mrs. Patterson was near the west wall of the gym.

I got to sit through a bunch of boring acts, including three very pitchy singers, 4 skits (3 bad, one good), and one half-decent dance routine, before my name was called.

I walk up in front of the judges. I tell them my homeroom class, and what I will be doing in my act. They tell me to start. I look over at Mrs. Patterson, and begin.

"My friends are always complaining about their little brothers and sisters never getting up out of bed. I don't have that problem. I just throw the cat on my brother. You don't think that would be effective? Well it is. He sleeps with the dog."

The judges give me a weird look. They don't laugh, or even smile.

"You know what I don't understand? 'Text Speak'. I understand simple things like-"

I finish the joke, and I get the same reaction as before. They don't laugh or smile. Their faces hardly even budge from those dull expressions except for...is that...confusion? Or...irritation?

I finish the routine that we practiced at Logan's house. Yet their faces still don't budge except for the looks of confusion and irritation. Why would my routine irritate or confuse them? It was pretty basic comedy. They tell me I'm in, but they say it quite...unenthusiastically.

I walk back to my classroom wondering what those looks were about. Why didn't they like my comedy? It was like they'd already heard my material before.

As I walk back to Mrs. Filmore's class, I think. I didn't get the material out of a book. I made it up. In MY brain. How could they have already heard it? Unless...someone already told it to them.

Nah.