I once heard a story about World War II. There were these Japanese pilots called Kamikaze pilots that basically dive-bombed buildings and stuff with their planes. They knew they were going to die, but they did what they had to do...and right now, that's my only option. Every single funny thing I've ever had well up in my mind is about to come loose. And I'm throwing out the filter.
"Hey everybody, I'm Leo," I start, "Many people don't know this, but I recently joined band. I went in the classroom, and the teacher said I had no talent at all."
That gets a few chuckles.
"He gave me a drum and said 'If someone can't play a real instrument, you give him two sticks and call him a percussionist'. So I said that if they can't even do THAT, they take one stick away and call them a conductor!"
The crowd explodes. This. Is. Awesome.
"Not only am I in band, I'm also really into athletics. I'm good at soccer. Great at baseball. But I'm spectacular in basketball...that is, until they throw the ball to me."
More, almost understanding laughs. Must be the kids that try to sit out because of an injured pinky finger.
"I'm hoping I can get a good job in sports. Certain other jobs are ruled out due to my sense of humor."
I tell my "911 operator" joke. More laughs, and even claps and whistles. This is it! I don't have to plan EVERYTHING out! I just go with the flow. Which also means making up some things on the spot.
"'But, operator, don't you need to know how to get here?' 'I already do.' 'How?' 'We still have those big red trucks.'"
The crowd is out of control. I spot Talia and Logan smiling back at me. And Jamal is in disbelief. People didn't laugh NEARLY as loud for him as they are for me.
"Anybody else having issues with grades?"
Agreement applause.
"I'm not. I have a 100. In two subjects! A 50 in math, and a 50 in science!"
The crowd is still laughing hard. Time to close.
"Anybody here a part of a fandom?"
Recognizing applause.
"I don't really understand fandoms. I mean, I know a few things. Harry Potter fans are always like 'I WANNA GO TO HOGWARTS'. Percy Jackson: I WANNA GO TO CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Chronicles of Narnia: I WANNA GO TO NARNIA. Hunger Games: Um, I'm good."
The crowd explodes once more.
"THANK YOU, YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE."
YOU ARE READING
Comedy 101
Humor6th Grader Leo Price has always been a comedian. The thing is, he sees comedy differently. He prefers witty and sarcastic comedy, not gross and stupid comedy. And with the school talent show coming up, now is his time to prove that he is the funnies...
