Let Me In

unexpected visit

Y/n POV 

"He said what??" Alec asked, the group still stunned by the info I gave them.

"He said 'i hate to do this but remember I'm doing it for you' and the only thing that was life threatening bad was when I told you about how the Clave mistreated me"

"So we think he might target the Clave and/or certain people" Izzy finished explaining. She gave me a look that told me this was the right thing to do, telling them.

"Well we need to make sure we're a step ahead of him from now on" Jace was determined to find him and I know if given the chance to, he'll kill him. Alec stood up and motioned me to his office, I followed but I kept thinking of him, Sebastian, Johnathan I didnt know what to call him now. I thought I found the right person for me but I guess it was his manipulation that made me fall for him, I was part of his disguise. I entered his office and he started talking.

"I'm going to inform the Clave of them being possible targets however I'm not going to tell them about ur relationship and try to keep it secret until we catch him"

"Why?? I mean thank u but I knew him best and can be of some help"

"I know that u will but the Clave aren't using u to get to him, I'll have to think of a lie to tell them"

"Wow Alexander Lightwood breaking the rules" we smiled and I left. We still need a way to capture him but I cant get distracted this time, he is a target not a friend. I went to my room to sleep it all off and hoped that I'll feel better in the morning

Boy was I wrong. I woke up at 4am  with a pounding headache and nauseous feeling. I knew I wasnt going to sleep anytime soon so I went outside to take a quick walk. I got maybe 15 minutes from the institute when I felt like I was being followed but nobody was there so I continued being a bit more aware. I found a bench near a lake so sat down and enjoyed the view. As I was thinking about the scenery in front of me my mind couldnt help but wonder to Sebastian. It hurt to think about him and I knew I'd have to face him eventually but I hope I'd have the strength to kill him if necessary.

"I hope ur not gonna do anything stupid" i muttered. I was so lost in thought I never noticed someone sit down by me.

"That depends on what u consider stupid" a familiar voice said making me stand up and look at the person next to me.

"You!" My shock turned to anger when I saw him. I managed to contain it for now.

"Hey love" I lost it. I slapped him round the face and I could tell he wasnt expecting that.

"You dont get to come here and talk to me after what you've done, what you made me do, what you put me through for the past couple of days and expect me to welcome you back into my life with open arms and hear you say how sorry and how wrong you were to make me forgive you just like that!!" It all came out like a volcano. He just sat there and didnt say or do anything which made me even more furious so I turned and walked away. I heard him call after me but I didnt want to look back as the tears fell down my face. A hand then grabbed my wrist and forcefully turned me round. After looking at him, as in really look at him he looked so pale and tired and his eyes had tears in them but he wouldn't let them fall. But that didnt change the fact that he lied and played me and everyone else and the people he killed as well.

"Why are you here?" He wouldn't look at me and stayed silent. "If you wont answer then I might as well go" I got out of his grip and turned to go but he grabbed me again.

"Dont leave me, please" he was begging me not to go but I couldnt stay even though I wanted to.

"I dont know who you are anymore. I'm sorry" I managed to escape his hold and ran back to the institute.

I felt bad for leaving him but I knew I wouldn't leave if I stayed. I am so conflicted right now, the man i love is a murderer and I need to stop him but I also want to protect him but I would be a traitor and hunted down.

What do I do???