Average (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Fifteen

I picked myself up off the floor and drug myself to the bathroom. I knew I wasn't bleeding, but I still felt dirty from the things she said to me. I turned on the shower and got back in for the second time today. I started to think about the things Liana had called me as the hot water poured down my body. I knew I wasn't a slut, but with what happened in the past week or so, I could definitely understand why she called me that. I hooked up with a girl last night and then practically madeout with another this morning. I want things to get better with Liana, and I don't want things to be weird with kendall.

I got out of the shower feeling just as terrible as I had getting in it, but at least I was clean. It's too bad that you can't wash away your feelings. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but I can't wrap my mind around what had just happened. Liana obviously hasn't been the best sister, and we weren't on the best of terms, but I should be the one she loves the most. I'm her twin, we should share some sort of link, that makes us closer, or more protective, but we don't. I keep thinking back to what she told me in the car on the way to school, about how she never hated me, and she didn't even know why she does the things she does to me. I want things to get better, more than I want anything else. Living with Liana by myself is like living in literal Hell. I can't keep up with the constant changes in our relationship, because when it's good, it's great but when it's bad it's horrible. It's unstable, and frankly unsafe for us, mostly me, but oneday I might snap worse than I did today. I need to leave, I need to have a safe place to be myself. I need to go somewhere no one knows my name.

I got dressed in in a pair of light wash blue jeans, and a black crew neck sweatshirt with a landscape design on it. I dried my hair and lightly curled it. I did my makeup and slipped into my black combat boots. I decided that I was going to leave for a while. I had enough money from my job saved up to make it on my own for a while, and I on good enough terms with boss for him to believe that I'm sick, and might not make it in for the next few days.

I packed a bag with clothes, makeup, toiletries, my laptop, and books. I grabbed my wallet, and slipped my phone into my back pocket.

I knew Liana was still here, but it couldn't matter to me right now. I have to leave. I need to at least pretend to have a fresh start.

I draped the duffle bag across my body, and grabbed my set of keys. I padded down the stairs, and looked around. Liana was no where to be seen, so I walked into the living room and saw her sleeping on the couch. I felt a rage like no other. I wanted to take a pillow and put in over her face. I wanted to hold it down until she stopped kicking. It took everything I had to just walk out the door.

I got in the car, and started driving. I didn't have a plan as to where I was going to go, but I was free. At least for now.

As I drove down my street, leaving my development I realized that I wasn't leaving my home. Home is a place where you feel loved, and safe, and you can be free. You don't care what anyone thinks and it's great. But that wasn't what I was leaving behind. I was running away from a house not a home.

I got in the highway and didn't really pass much, aside from an exit every so often. I drove for hours until I saw an exit the finally felt right. It was to a moderate sized town with a welcoming feel, that I was never before acquainted with. I was able to find a hotel with cheap enough rates for me to be able to stay for a while. I unpacked, and showered once again to get the hairspray out of my hair, and the makeup off of my face. I stepped out of the hot shower and into the steamy bathroom. I used the complimentary towel to clear the mirror and saw that I didn't get all of the makeup off of my eyes. I looked slightly like a raccoon in all honesty. I wrapped my hair up in the towel, and began to wash my face. I leaned over to wash my face and when I can back up, I let out a blood curdling scream. There was a man standing frozen behind me.