My Soulmate is a Prince

Chapter 12

Aiden's POV 

 'Day 1825. Hello my precious, it's the full moon again. Every time when I look at it, it reminds me of you. Whether I'm with my friends, family and especially when I am alone. you're always on my mind. Occasionally, I dreamt of you writing to me. Whenever I wake up from it, I'm always in tears. I miss you, my precious. I'm begging you. Please respond to me'

I went to bed drunk that night. I had 10 bottles of beer and 4 shots of Vodka. I stayed away from my friends the last couple of days. I don't think I can do this anymore; I cannot pretend to be happy after all this time constantly thinking about her and wishing that she were here. 

I imagine so hard, Shana being by my side that it feels as if she is right beside me, yet still so empty and lonely. Because every time I snap out of my imagination, I realize that it was all just a reflection made up in my brain.

I tried so hard to hide my sadness away the past 5 years which drained me. I can't show my weak side to anyone but now, I'm at my worst. I don't know how my mate is doing. All I can do is to 

just keep sending her messages without even knowing if she's alive.

I was awakened by the heavy downpour, the hangover effects started kicking in. I relieved my butler from duty today, I just wanted to be alone. My head was throbbing really badly, as if it was being pounded with glowing hot hammer. 

I took my phone and looked at our past conversations. I read it for hours. I normally don't cry but fuck that. I'm utterly miserable. My princess is not with me and I feel very empty.

The flower I bought for her 5 years ago was on my desk. Its petal had dried out and withered, but I kept one of the flower leaves preserved by putting it in a laminated plastic and put it in between a page of a thick photo album filled with messages from her. 

She deserves to see how beautiful it was, and she can. The dress I bought for her was in the wardrobe. I really wanted to see her in that dress. I sat against the bed with a bottle of beer in my hand while re-reading the photos I took while gulping more beer. 

My Lycan was also grieving. This is truly suffocating.My emotions are overwhelming and I'm tired of holding it in. Hence, I set my Lycan lose. I threw the bottle against the wall and it shattered. It started running out into the woods and destroyed the trees there. 

I let out a loud sorrowful howl. I don't care if anyone heard me and I know, I'm going insane. My head is filled with too much negativity. Everyone had found their loved one and I was too stupid for not seizing the opportunity to get her. 

Fuck! I continued destroying the forest. It was a mess just like I was. I started panting because I had been doing it for hours. I'm such a wreck. My heart felt as if it had been squeezed its contents out; leaving it empty. I can't see any silver lining in my life anymore.

 I am nothing without my other half. I don't care about living. I don't care about being a king. There's no point in living without my soulmate. Even Jackson had found his loved one. I feel so lonely.

I bellowed and my Lycan gave another mournful howl as I stayed in the rain. I didn't bother to move. I felt defeated and hopeless. Hours passed and the rain lightened up. I was still at the same position not moving an inch. I couldn't bring myself to do anything anymore. Time passed even more until my friends' mind-linked me.

"Dude, where are you? I am at your place and it's in such a mess. Did something happen?" Jackson asked frantically.

I didn't bother answering.