If I Should Be Quite Honest

6

He helps me make lunch and dinner. He's ok too. He said he liked to help and I believed him. I asked him if he cooked at home and he said he tried to.
Tried.
It seemed sad to me, having to make stuff for yourself.

I start to worry again, because for close to seven hours, I hadn't heard from my brother. When Remi came home, smelling like marinara sauce, I told him that me and Taron needed to go somewhere. He frowned and so did Taron, in confusion.
"Where's that?" Remi asked.
"I'll tell you when we get back," I say, pulling Taron as soon as I set Pasha's plate of rice in front of him on the table.
"Where's Jae?" my brother asked me.
"He's out," I say, "With friends."
"He's not meant to go anywhere, Ren says he's grounded."
"Well, I'll go find him innit?"
"Get back before Ren does."
"I'll try," I say.

I direct Taron to the skatepark, but we don't even get there before I spot Jae on the side of the road, in the glow of the newsagents, sitting on the sidewalk.
We park, and he sees us, and he gets up and runs, but we run after him. I'm not as fast as I want to be at that time, so it's Taron who catches up and grabs his hoodie, pulling him back.
When I get there, Jae is struggling, shouting in protest and squirming.
I pull him and shake him firmly until he stops, "Look at my face," I say, because he's looking down, his hood pulled over his face, so I can barely see his nose, but even then, I can sense something isn't right. He doesn't look at me, so I tug his hoodie back swiftly. He spits at me, but it only lands on my cheek. I wipe it, without so much as blinking twice. I have no time to think it's disgusting, even though it is. Where he picked that up, I didn't want to know.
"Don't fucking spit at me," I push him, and in the orange lamplight, I see his face properly. I have to squint, because it's not quite right.
Taron's looking too, "Jeez..."
Blood dripped from his nose and his face beheld so many bruises, from punches in the hundreds. His left eye was swollen and it looked like a blade or something was taken to his cheek.

I didn't know what to say. But I could only think of what Ren would say. She'd be more mad at me for letting him go out when he wasn't meant to. But that didn't matter much right now. My little brother was hurt. And he had tears in his eyes. I couldn't remember the last time he had cried.
I tried to approach him, but he stepped back. We stood there for a good two minutes, and it was getting much colder than I'd like.
Eventually, Taron managed to put his hand on Jae's shoulder, "C'mon, let's go." Jae looked like he'd rather stay out here, but then he decided to drag his hood back over his eyes and follow us back to the car.

In the car, he doesn't say anything. Not that I thought he would anyway. Taron doesn't say anything either, but he looks at me occasionally, and reaches over to squeeze my hand when we get to a red light. It's then I know he understands and I smile at him like I'm saying thank you. He nods like he's saying you're welcome.
We stay sitting in the car for a few minutes when we reach the flat. I rest my head back and sigh, eyes closed. I'm gonna be in so much shit. And my mother didn't even need to be here. I couldn't believe I had done this, when I knew something could go wrong. But I was also feeling worse about how none of us really noticed what Jae was doing. Perhaps, if we lived in a nice proper house and had a good dad, one that fathered us all,  he'd keep mum in line as well as us kids. Then Ren wouldn't have to feel so pressured to be our mother and discipline us, Jacob could go back to being the oldest and Pasha wouldn't cry. Because mum would be there and we'd want her there too.
But that was a dream. And I was stupid. And I let my brother get into a fight with sketchy boys who were older than him, and probably bigger. And menacing. Jae wasn't menacing.
I looked back at him. He was hunched over, sniffing. He looked smaller than ever.
I looked back ahead, "Do you want me to come inside with you, Tate?" Taron asked me. I shake my head. I had to take the blow. And I didn't want to be embarrassed in front of him when Ren gave me an earful.
It was after then I heard Jae's voice from the backseat, "I'm sorry, Tate," he uttered. I could scream at him or push him into the gutter when we got out of the car and spit at him like he had spat on me. But I wasn't about to.
He needed our undivided attention now, right? We went wrong somewhere.
"Don't sweat it," I say, "Just get out, Ren's probably gonna be back any second, yeah?"
He stepped out, "Thanks," he said to Taron, who nodded.
He looked at me again when Jae had shut the door.
"You gonna be ok?" he asked.
"Should be," I say, "If you don't see me on Monday, call the police," I say. I don't realise I've been kind of funny to him, until he's started chuckling.
"You sure you don't want me with you?"
"I want you with me," I say. His face softens a bit, "Just not here. I have to handle this. I'll call you."
"Ok," he smiles, "Tell everyone I said bye."
"I will," I lie. I'd probably just tell Amara, who probably liked him more than I did. I was looking at him still. He was good.
I liked him. Really. He didn't have to do this for me. But he did. And he was real nice about it too.
Not everyone could be nice.
"You ok?" he smirks a little.
"Yeah," I lean over and kiss him, "I really like you, Taron."
"Good," he chuckled, "I hoped so."
I reach for the door, but he tugs my arm back and kisses me again. I smile a little. It felt nice to have someone who couldn't seem to get enough of you. I was starting to want to sit in that car all night and kiss him, try and leave and have him pull me back again.
But I got down, shutting the door. I wave to him and he waves back and drives off. I watch his car turn and leave. He drives very carefully. I liked that about him too.
I turn to my brother, who sighs. I go to him and push his shoulder slightly. He manages a little smirk, weakly brave. I say, "C'mon," and put my arm around him, turning him around so we could go and get the elevator.
"I'm gonna get you in so much shit with Ren."
"Don't worry about it. I'm not."
I stop him before we go in though.
"Who did that shit to your face, Jae?" He hesitated, not wanting to answer. I sigh, "Look, you may not want to tell me, but Ren will fucking pry the answer out of you. Was it those boys at school? Those older ones I saw you with? High fiving and shit?"
Jae twitched, "No."
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
"You told me you were going to the library."
"And I did."
"So where are your fucking books?"
"Forgot my library card, innit? I was there all day."
"Ollie said you went to the skatepark."
"Ollie doesn't ever fucking listen. I never told him where I was going."
I didn't believe him, "Fine," I say, annoyed, "Don't tell me the truth. One day, we'll find out what's going on with you."