Sunshower

Chapter 2: Lost and Found

Cassia returned to her seat and noticed Hoseok had moved. He was sitting further back behind the other guys, staring out the window. He didn't even look up when she walked into the train car. The fear she felt made her want to put as much space between them as possible. She decided to move to a different train car and reached down to gather her things. However, she noticed something that had not been there before. A nutrition bar sat on her bag. She picked it up and her stomach grumbled again. She looked back at Hoseok and he was staring straight at her, blank faced. She felt a pang of guilt wash over her. Then she heard those words again and the fear returned. She gathered up her things and moved two train cars up.

The other cars were, of course, packed with more people than the one she came from and Cassia cursed herself for being afraid. She didn't like being around people. People made her nervous. She settled in the very last seat next to the window and placed all of her belongings in the seat next to her so no one would sit beside her.

She could finally feel her breathing start to slow, along with her heart. Cassia leaned her head against the window, watching the trees pass by. Her mind drifted to the forest of trees as she stood there with her eyes closed, listening to the sounds around her. She remembered the way Hoseok's arm grabbed her to keep her from falling, and even though she was angry she felt a sense of security in his presence. She was able to enjoy the time on the railroad track, like she did when she was a kid, and for the first time in a long time she felt protected. Then she heard those words again. Yet they weren't coming from him.

She walked into her mom's apartment that night after work, laughing at a video her best friend sent her. She hadn't paid attention when she got home like she normally did, and that's how she missed him - her mother's boyfriend. He was standing in the kitchen, getting a drink of water. She tried to ignore him, but as she walked by he spoke to her.

"You look pretty when you smile. Did you know that?" Cassia froze on the spot when she heard the man's voice. Fear had her planted to the floor and she couldn't make herself move. She screamed for her mother, but it was no use. Her mother was passed out from drinking. He walked around the counter and straight up to her, pushing his body up next to hers. He placed his sweaty hand on her face and jerked at her hair.

"Smile again for me," he said.

Cassia sat up with a jolt as the vision dissolved. She felt bile rise in her throat and thought she would vomit. A cold sweat formed on her forehead and she felt the sweat drip down her back. She hadn't realized it, but she had dozed off thinking of Hoseok. She had dozed off in a peaceful place and woke up back in her reality. Nausea washed over her again and she got up to get some air, only to realize she wasn't in the end train car anymore. Panic washed over her as she sat back down. She tried to take deep breaths, to count. She tried all the techniques she knew to calm herself, but nothing worked. In that moment she wished to be back in that forest being protected.

"We are now arriving at Spandau Bahnhof Station in Berlin. Thank you for riding the S-Bahn and we hope to transport you again soon."

Cassia rushed to gather her bag and coat to get off the train. She stepped off the train and immediately threw up between the platform and the tracks. As she stood up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she looked over and saw Hoseok exit the last car. He looked around and his eyes locked with hers. He saw her pale face and knew something was wrong. She stood only a few seconds looking at him, and then she turned and walked off in the opposite direction.

*********

Cassia realized as she walked aimlessly through the streets that she had no idea where she was going. She needed somewhere to sit and think; a place with WiFi so she could find a place to stay for a few nights. She spotted Westberlin, a coffee shop tucked away in the corner of an intersection. Westberlin was a quaint cafe that wasn't too crowded for the afternoon. She ordered an iced americano and situated herself at a blue table in the corner.