The End → f.s

smurf cliffo.

I don't remember the rest after I cried in front of Nate and Ashton. I sill hang out with Nate though. She still talks to me like nothing was happened.

Guess she's the only one that care.

"Nate"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks"

She held my hand. Rub a circle on my back hand.

I'm grateful she's existed. I'm grateful I went to the bookstore. I'm grateful I blocked her way. I'm grateful for all of that.

Even though I see no point of living. Nate fills that emptiness of my heart. No I'm not sure it's crush.

I've told you I'm not Luke. I don't crush. I'm not Calum either that take away a girl's life because he wants to die together. I'm not them.

But.

I don't know.

I don't want to make my parents worried. They still my parents. Behind the careless approach they still care with me. They don't kicked me out, that proves they still care.

But the thing is I don't want to make Ashton worried about me, moreover after my crying incident. Maybe our fans will think I'm the heartless that doesn't care with other member, that I was bullying Luke or others and I spent my whole day in front of computer.

Well it's true.

I did spend my whole day in video games, I did tell Luke to shut the fuck up, I did don't care. But I love them, they are family, they made my whole 4 years worth living for and I don't want to trade that.

God. Nate's presence even making me more emotional.

Judge me. I don't give a damn or a shit about that.

"Nate"

"Don't talk in just one word Michael" she frowned at me.

"Netherland" I said to her.

She flicks my head. "That syllable you fuck"

"Netherland I love you"

"Hah?"

"I love you"