The End → f.s

bassist irwie.

After I saw her arms, I showed her mine.

"Ash--Ashton" she mumbles. "You promised you won't do this again"

"For us" I like the way she refers 'us' not me because she still have faith that maybe 2% of them still loves me.

No words come out of my mouth.

I hug her.

Yes, I hug a stranger that I found in front of my house.

She hugs back. Her warmness radiates me, I know for sure. I cry again in her warmth.

Fey cries harder. Yeah, I'm trying to remember her name. Fey. It's like short for Fairy not France. I guess she's fairy.

She wore the strangest outfit like a fairy. I hope she's not some sort of my imagination.

Fey sat quietly on my couch. Her knees are touching and she is fixing her tangled hair.

"Ashton"

I look at her.

"You must stay alive"

I almost laugh like a maniac. But I can see the persistent from her eyes. She's serious. She wants me to be alive.

"Don't worry I'm not Calum"

"Last time someone said something like that he ended up in jail for raping" she told me sarcastically.

I shot her a dirty look. She's not allowed to mock Michael just like that.

"Ashton"

"Shut up"

"I'm trying to help"

"You're not helping at all! You're worsening the whole fucking thing!!!! You came crying in front of my house. You said I should be okay. You said I must be strong but I can't!" I ranted.

"THE FUCKING SITUATION IS NOT HELPING! SO WILL YOU JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!" I finally let out my bubbling anger for her. My puffy eyes moist with the salty liquid again.

She stood up then holds my hand. "We could try together, Ashton"

"You don't know how I feel"

She showed me again her scars. Its still fresh, like mine and it's not only one arm but both. Then I realized that her body full of scars. Her legs are bruised and there are some bloods. Her cheek is patched and her neck is like carved with rope.

"You tried to commit suicide" I concluded. "But why're you still alive?"

"There was a recording in my phone. It's an audio edit" she explains. "It was your voice and the others too"

"It was saying 'Stay strong beautiful you'll gonna be okay'"

"And when the rope is already attached on my neck it played strangely" Her voice is calm soothing. "Then I cried so hard, I look at myself so disgustedly"

She stares at my eyes "I realize I still want to live. I still want to see you"

Hearing that is like punched on the chest, throat and stomach. She lives for me while I was almost trying to follow Calum's path.

Fey hugs me. Her tiny arms wrapped around me, sending me love and care I needed these past months. She loves me.

"We'll try together"

She nods. "Together"