The story of my life

Quit calling

Dean has called me eight times in the last day and left hundreds of voicemails Sam has called more than that it's crazy dean told me to leave so I did I didn't want to be where I didn't belong

Clay had fixed me up a little cabin on stonehaven it only took a couple of days he didn't build it it was already there he just fixed it up for me because he knew I didn't want to be around all of the guys all of the time

I had spent most of my time at stonehaven running getting back into the feel of being home again but every time anyone else was around I had to drown the thoughts of dean and Sam out of my mind it was hard to hide from everyone I cried myself to sleep every night and I didn't care if the boys heard that

One day I went out running knowing in my gut that something was off

I heard three body's running at me I braved myself

"Jamie"
"Jay"
"Jamo"
I head them all thing

When they got to me they told me there was a trespasser on the land I circled around not knowing the scent it smelled familiar faded or changed we decided to all change back I went to the cabin

"What are you doing here" I said
"Jamie let me—-"
"No dean you can't do this to me try to make me feel bad for leaving when your the one who told me to leave dean you hurt me bad I thought you said you would never do this to me dean huh what happened to forever!" I screamed

"Dean you can't do this to me you can't come back begging me to come home with you when you were the one who didn't want me and the things you said....." I started to cry
"Jamie please don't cry" he stood up trying to walk towards me only to fall over and bust his head open he had been drinking
"Son of a bitch dean" I said helping him up
"What am I suppose to do" he sobbed
"Dean it's not your job to protect everyone you don't have to fix everything" I said placing him on the wall

"It's always gonna be my job Jamie you were my first and I understand that you are pissed at me but I am really and truly sorry for what I said Jamie I am just scared you are gonna walk away again and leave me in the dust and just..... Jamie I am more in love with you that I have ever been with anyone and that is saying a lot because I have been with a lot of women in my day but Jamie you have changed me you are the mother of my children you are the women that made me a father and a husband I thought I would never find a life like that yeah our life is screwed up but we wouldn't be us if we didn't have to overcome all of these bad things Jamie I love you so so much it's insane and so does Sammy and the kids Sam has been worried sick about you why didn't you answer our calls of text?" He questioned
"I don- dean you have to leave" I said not looking at him

"Jamie don't"
"Dean you have to leave" I cried

I left before he did turning and running away only to hear clay following me I was running as fast as I could knowing he could damn well catch me and he was going too but I looked back at him to see the pain in his eyes that I was running away from him

I finally stopped in a completely white field and tuned to face him

"Jamie what's wrong" he thought
"Dean it was dean in stonehaven he came back for me because he missed me and it was his hip to protect me" I whimpered
"Jamie let's go back to stonehaven and talk please" he begged

We went back to stonehaven and I told him everything we ended up staying in his room all night I woke up a lot later that night one or two I think and clay was up thinking he didn't know I we awake but all of his thoughts are about me he was crying

"Clay are you okay" I whispered
"What yeah I'm fine" he said quietly
"What are you thinking about" I said knowing he was just as good at hiding his thoughts as I was
"You......" he said
"Really?" I questioned
"Yeah" he said
"About what" I asked
"About since we were little how I was in love with you" he said
"Clay I use to have the biggest crush on you" I giggled
He reached over grabbing my hand

"Really?" He asked
"Yeah but things are different now dean wants me back and Sam and my family clay" I said rolling over to hug him
"Why are you gonna go back to the man that hurt you Jamie stonehaven is your home we are your family two you know" he said hugging me back
"I don't know clay" I said starting to cry and he squeezed me tighter
"You know I love you right darlin" he asked
"I know" I said in pain
"Ahhh" I said
"What what's wrong" he asked in panic
"I have to leave" I said trying to get up only for him to pull me back
"Clay it's mating season I have to go if I don't I I might end up mating with you I can't" I said running out