Jamie's POV It was my first full night back, back from the torcher and pain and suffering hell brought but I couldn't help the memories of everything that happened while I was down there I was gone a week up here but it was like spending a month down there it was literally hell...
Dean looked at me with pitty I guess that's how he felt when he got back because I wouldn't leave his side but he got a welcome back present that made him feel a little bit better but I didn't I got "your sister and Sam are not back together yet and oh yeah do you remember hell".... I hate this I hate hurting my family but what else am I supposed to do I don't want to leave them but I don't need to stay around them because it's just going to hurt them worse....
Sammy and my sister where finally talking again and she kept telling me how much she missed him but she didn't know if he wanted her back and I knew he did because every time she would talk to him he would get this look on his face
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Like she was the only person in the world that mattered to him
All the kids where grown now so we got Christmas cards and stuff from them and their bf/gf or husband and wife it was crazy
But me and dean we where different and I didn't know why it was confusing he was trying more he was always on me about talking about hell and I didn't want to I didn't want tot all about why they torcher me I didn't want him to know that he was the reason.....
But he always found a way to pick a fight...
When I got my old phones back I had several voicemails from Damon
"Hey uhh it's me I know you probably don't wanna hear from me ever again but I miss you I really do and so does..... Stefan...... yeah I know it's crazy but he is back and better than ever we miss you Jay come see us" and that one ended
"Hey Jay it's D and Steffy we miss you come see us please we are doing rough without you"
"Son of a bitch...Jamie what did we do wrong to deserve this okay come see us or at least let us know your okay"
"Jamie please tell me it's not true......*sniff sniff*.......your not dead you can't be dead call me back"
"It's true your really gone..... I don't know why I keep calling and leaving voicemails your never going to hear them but gahhhh I miss you I miss you running through the house chasing me because I ate all the Mac and cheese and I miss you yelling at me because why not gahh I wish you where still here even if you where mad at me I wish you where still her but your not..... I love you Jamie so does steffy"
The voicemails killed me knowing that I put them through that much pain it hurt and Stefan was alive I needed to see them but I didn't know how dean wouldn't get off my Case and it was pissing me off I wanted to cry all the time I just wanted to die again at least I wasn't being either avoided ir being baby sat 24/7 down there I was getting tired of him being on me all the time
