make it right 🔛 hyunlix

스물 하나

wednesday, 6 november 2019

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"dear felix, 

it's been a long time since we've talked, I saw you've unblocked me, you haven't replied though. i wanted to tell you something important, really important, but i'll tell you, at the end, I want to tell you everything, i want to apologise, i want to make it better, i want to make us better.

the day you left and the day everything happened, I couldn't believe how quickly it all happened, I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry for what I did. I have no idea what came over me that day, I thought that it wouldn't hurt anyone, it was one night and i thought it would be over after that one night, i didn't think it was that kind of over.

i couldn't believe it, i stayed by your side the whole time, i didn't let go of your hand the whole trip. when you were stuck in that coma, it scared me, i thought it was my fault, no, i was all my fault. chan approached me one day and told me to stop coming, that i was just going to hurt you when you woke up again, i believed him. that was september 15th, on your birthday. my heart stopped, everything began to sink in, that you were gone and out of my life, you didn't want anything to do with me. i still see that.

i still remember going home and crying, but i knew he was right, and i knew that i deserved everything coming for me. 

you woke up october 5th, i was over the moon, i wanted to go to you and kiss you, hug you, tell you i loved you, then i got that call from chan. so i sent my regards with the flowers. they were your favourites right? light pink roses, beautiful like you. i still remember your favourite things, how you pretended to love strawberry ice-cream, because i once said how can anyone eat banana ice cream, you hid that for me, how you love dogs, everytime we went to the dog cafe your eyes would sparkle and light up at the sight of all the puppies, and your love for the stars. kitten, even a million stars couldn't reflect how your eyes shone like when you looked at me.

you were so beautiful, we were so beautiful. 

i went to your old house and now you're back in australia, are you well?

i don't want to drag this out but kitten, what i needed to tell you was,

I love you, and I promise i'll make it right.

signed: 𝒽𝓌𝒶𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝓎𝓊𝓃𝒿𝒾𝓃"

by the end, tears were streaming down his cheeks and onto the paper, "it's the least i can do..."

saturday, 5 october 2019

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laying at home on the couch, hyunjin was a mess. for the most of this period of time all he did was drink. his apartment was a mess, he even almost forgot to pay the house staff.

his phone suddenly rung, without looking at the caller, he raised the phone to his ear, "hello?"

"felix is awake." it sunk in.

beat.

"w-what..what did you say?" the other side repeated, "felix is awake."

beat. he quickly looked at the caller, chan.

"you're not joking right? you aren't lying right?" the other side was monotoned and dull, "no, he's awake and responding. hwang hyunjin." beat. chan suddenly stopped, "don't come, you've already hurt him enough." and with that, the line went dead. 

beat...

hyunjin slumped, his initial excitement gone and tears pooled at his eyes. burying his face in his hands he choked out sobs and apologies continuously before picking up the phone. 

he dialed, beat.

"jisung-ah...i need you to do something for me."

later

"YOU'RE AWAKE, I THOUGHT YOU DIED!" the room blocked their ears, "chill jisung, he's still really sensitive to sound." he hissed before apologising, "somebody wanted for me to give this. to you." the male smiled before handing the younger a bouquet of baby pink flowers.

felix smiled taking them, "who are they from?" he searched for a card or a name, "he can't say, he just wishes you well and hopes for a speedy recovery." the light in the younger's eyes dimmed as the memories of the roses returned, flashing forward to the accident.

blink. "i love you kitten."

blink. "felix watch out!"

blink. "felix! felix! it's okay!" his pupils returned to normal as his breathing steadied, looking up he saw chan in front of him holding his cheeks, "i'm here, it's okay, just breathe.."

before they knew, felix fell asleep with the same name falling from his lips, "hyunjin..."