All is Vanity ~Percabeth

4: give up

Piper and I sat by the lunch table in silence, awkwardly, I was going to tell her today, the big secret I've been keeping all my life, my hidden crush.

"Hey Piper," I started, "I need to tell you something."

She looked up smiling, "Such a coincidence, I need to tell you something too."

"You start first."

"Nah, you do it."

"I swear,  just do it, I don't mind." I urged.

"Okay, okay," she fumbled with her bracelets clumsily, "I like Percy Jackson," Piper whispered in my ear, smiling with glee, "From the swim team."

What?

I stared at her shockingly, then forced a smile, "Really? Oh my God! I'm so happy for you!"

I gave her a hug, "I just-- I just thought you weren't looking for a relationship after the one with Jason. You know, after all the pain it brought you."

She pushed away and clasped her hand on my shoulder, "RIght, but at French Class we were assigned together for desk mates and Percy was so sweet and kind, and amazingly hot too, It was like fate brought us together."

My heart stung with bitterness, I felt like my soul had just left my body, my smile twitched as if I was going to cry, I can't do this anymore.

I was about to tell her today, but she looked so happy, I couldn't tell her, no, I could never tell her.

She jerked her head up, "So, what did you want to tell me?" 

Her asking that question was like someone stabbing on a wound, trying to add more salt on the pain.

"O-o-oh yeah," I choked out, trying not to sound frustrated, "I'm tutoring a student maths on Sunday, I wanted to tell you because-- emm, we can't hang out anymore on.. Sundays."

She didn't seem to notice anything different, "Oh, that's cool, we can hang out on Saturdays instead."

I nodded silently, biting my lips and hoping that my eyes didn't seem too red. "I need to go to the toilet," I gasped.

"Do you need me to walk you there?"

"N-no," I told her my voice cracking slightly, "I have a really heavy period, super uncomfortable, probably take a long time."

I hurried off to the direction of the toilet, my eyes pouring out with sad tears, why was I so sad? Why am I so dramatic? Why can't life just go my way?

Her words sunk in, repeating in my mind like a never ending echo, digging in like a sharp dagger, sawing a hole through my chest.

We're best friends, and we like the same guy, the girl who never told anyone vs the girl who just told her best friend, who"ll win? That was a stupid question. This was my punishment for hiding it from her for so long, for keeping it in, not telling her when she trusted me with everything. This was life coming back at me. And It's telling me to let her win, I need to let her crush on him while the pathetic me is there looking.

I need to give up my crush.

I need to give up Percy Jackson.