Once we were inside, we were taken to our seats; mum and dad obviously did not like how ‘elegantly’ I had dressed, I was in my usual black skinnies and my black tank top with the ‘Capitan America’ logo on it. We sat down a waiter came to the table and glared at me taking our drink orders. He returned 5 minutes later placing our drinks o the table then asked if we were ready to place our orders. It was my turn to say what I wanted “Um I’ll have pork ribs with Barbeque sauce, thanks” I said taking a sip out of my coke.
“Will you have the large serving or the small?” a challenge huh? I so knew what I was getting
“A large serve thanks” I put a mock smile and Josh just shook his head and smiled.
“So remember to call at least once a week and tell us if we can do anything to help you with your studies, okay?” mum asked Josh
“Don’t worry I will” he replied “And I’ll come up when the semester is over”
“I can’t believe our little boy is going to be a lawyer” mum cooed then looked at me intensely “So what are you going to do?” she asked me
“I dunno rock star maybe” I shrugged getting a glare, knowing that was not what she wanted to hear.
“You won’t make it no-one ever does” she threw back, I stood up getting ready to shout at her but then the waiter came and placed the food on the table, great I was going to have hell to pay when I get home. I sat down before the situation got worse. Diving into eating my pork ribs, they were absolutely delicious. We ordered some pudding then drove home, mum and dad in one car and me and josh in the other.
I ran upstairs to get Josh’s leaving present. “Yo Josh think fast” I said as I threw him a ball. It was covered with signatures, I don’t know whose, but I was sure Josh would like it and know who the people were. “Zoë, how did you get this?” Josh asked stunned
“I saved up money for it cause I know you love basketball, so I go you something worthwhile” I smiled
“Thanks Zoë, but you didn’t have to”
“Well I was thinking of putting mine on it to make it even better” I laughed but saw dad glare so I stopped. Before I knew it Josh engulfed me in a giant bear-hug. When he left to put the ball somewhere with his stuff that he was taking to university, dad walked up and hit me in the back of my head and kick me in the shin and pushed me down to the ground holding his fist above my head, I let out a small groan trying my best not be loud so Josh would heard it “Don’t you ever do something like that again. Got it you little fucking bitch?” he growled I just nodded and stood up as quickly as I could when I heard Josh heading down the stairs. I’m gonna hate it here even more when he leaves, but I can’t make him stay for me, and anyway he’s becoming a lawyer so he’ll be able to help me more that way. He walked over to me and gave me another hug; I hugged him back knowing it won’t be happening often with him gone and assholes as parents.
I took my clothes off and got into the shower letting the hot water wash over me, calming me down like it normally does, this time it didn’t work, this time I broke down letting the tears fall not caring for once, falling to the showers floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. As long as no one else sees them it can’t hurt me....... I hope. Hopping out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around and waited until the puffiness of my eyes died down. I went to my room I got into boxers and a t-shirt and put on ‘Black Veil Brides- Knives and pens,’ I went to my desk draw where I kept my pocket knife, the one I used when dad took me out fishing, sigh, I miss those days, when we were a happy family and I wasn’t such a screw up in my families eyes. I picked it up and opened it sitting tears stinging my eyes, threatening to pour down again. I had heard of people cutting and I never thought much of it before, I held it to my wrist, closing my eyes tight, thoughts running through my head as I left it there I looked down at the blade I held against my wrist and chucked it away not wanting to think about it, it hit the wall making a thud not long after it whacked the wall Josh came in, he saw my knife laying there against the wall and looked at me then the blade then me again.“Zoë did you-” he began
“No, I couldn’t do it. I was about to but-”
“Shhhh, its okay just try promise me you won’t ever do it, please”
“I promise” at that he pulled me into a hug and told me to sleep try rest. I turned off my music and closed my eyes unsure of whether or not I could keep the promise. Eventually I fell asleep.
Walking down a long corridor with what looked like had no end so I begin to run; as I’m running I look around. I hear voices all around me so I run faster and I trip up, trip over someone’s foot looking up to see Blake looking down with concern? Holding his hand out as I reach for it and take hold of it, instead of holding onto his hand I have a knife in it, covered in blood, looking down to see blood pouring out of my wrist, I turn around to see a mirror, all around the edge is everything bad someone has ever said to me, every lie someone made about me and everything I feel so insecure about myself. I feel myself falling.
