Done

CHAPTER 13

Monday came and went in a blur. I had phoned in sick and they couldn't really doubt me when I'd told them I had been in hospital on Friday night. I omitted the real reason for my hospital stay and simply told them I had fainted and was still feeling under the weather. My boss accepted my bullshit and told me to return to work when I felt 100%. Annabelle had phoned 7 times but I ignored them, just like I ignored the texts and calls from Jake. I hadn't heard from Luke.

Tuesday was much of the same. I barely got out of bed and only did when I needed the toilet. I had eaten very little since Sunday but couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I was done with it all. I was just so sad. The sadness was suffocating and the worst part was I had no one to turn to. I slept as much on Tuesday just as I had on Monday.

As Wednesday morning came around, Annabelle was clearly done with being ignored. She used the key which I knew she had but rarely used and let herself in. Her usual tactic was banging on my door, today she went for a softer approach.

"Tilly" she whispered as she entered my bedroom. "Shit, you weren't lying when you said you were under the weather. I thought you were bull shitting." She sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled the cover slightly down so she could see all of my face. Tears filled my eyes for the hundredth time since Luke had left me alone and ashamed on Sunday night.

"Tilly, what on earth is going on, talk to me" she quietly pleaded. I sat up and she pulled me into her arms. Hugging usually made me incredibly uncomfortable but I needed it in that moment. I poured my heart out to her telling her all about my overdose. What my brother had said whilst I was in the hospital. The breakfast I had with Jake and then ended with the mortifying story of what had happened with Luke. By the time I had finished Annabelle had tears streaming as well.

"Well, I can see why you weren't in. That's a lot to deal with by yourself. Why didn't you call me?" She asked wiping away her tears. Even though I knew Annabelle was a close friend it had never dawned on me to call her to talk through what had happened.

"I didn't even think to call" I admitted.

"You're an idiot. I know you have this whole life going on where you run around with drug dealers and get coked off your face but I know that's not really you. I know the person you were before Luke left. You may never have been completely functioning as an adult but this wasn't you"

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath in. There was the whole last year laid out bare in front of my eyes. " I know" and I really did. "I just don't know what to do any more." She grabbed hold of my hands.

"Well, first thing you are going to do is get the fuck up. Then you're going to shower and get dressed. You cannot stay in bed and wallow in self pity. It isn't attractive and girlfriend you are hot. Now get up" She used her grip on my hands to haul me out of bed and shove me in the direction of the bathroom. I grabbed my phone on the way and saw a list of messages all from Jake. I shouldn't be surprised. I hadn't spoken to him since Sunday after our date. I scrolled through the messages.

(Mon: 16:27) Gorgeous, want to go for a meal tonight?

(Mon 18:45) Take that as a no then? You could at least let me know either way?

(Tues 9.03) Not heard from you, at least let me know you're alive.

(Tues 15.53) Never took you as this kind of person Tilly!

Shit. I probably should have answered those messages. I typed out a quick reply hoping that it would be enough.

I'm sorry, Sunday confused me. I shouldn't have ignored you. Can I call you later?