melancholia → jin-centric

cry myself to sleep

Loneliness, isn't it? The feeling of having no one by your side. The feeling of knowing that no one wants to be by your side. By any chance, is it really loneliness?

He knows. He knows he shouldn't be thinking like this but he can't stop it. He can't stop the sadness that's welling up his mind.

Take a deep breath, his mind spoke.

The singer slowly stood up, blinking the tears away. How lucky he think he is, he has his own room.

"Morning, hyung." Hoseok tiredly spoke out, yawning after. Seokjin could only nod, too occupied by his thoughts.

Noisy bitch, he closed his eyes.

"Looks like we haven't bought eggs, hyung." Jimin sneakily laughed; they had an egg competition without Seokjin.

They don't need you anyways, he coughed.

"Jin-hyung?" Jimin snapped his fingers in front of the eldest, raising his brows upon seeing Seokjin dazed for the first time.

"Oh right, sorry." Seokjin sheepishly chuckled, though he didn't do anything wrong.

"It's alright. We can just make pancakes!" The eldest ruffled the boy's hair and nodded.

"Could you just make them yourself, Jimin-ah? I have something to do."

"This early, hyung?" Jimin tapped the tabletop as he was baffled by Seokjin's statement.

"I have vocal lessons this early. I hope you'll understand." Seokjin gave a little smile before going inside his room again.

...

"Where's hyung?" Yoongi asked the oldest of the maknae line, munching a portion of his pancake.

"Vocal lessons."

"He didn't say anything." Jimin raised a brow.

"Well, now you know." As if it was normal like them to speak like this.

"I'll record the song. Taehyung, you go first." The singer nodded and continued drinking his milk.

...

For sure it wasn't the members. And for sure it wasn't the fans. Then what made Seokjin thinking like this?

He didn't even realize that he's walking around a park as his thoughts occupy too much of his mind.

He might even joke that his thoughts should pay a rent but how could he; he doesn't even notice that he's not in the building.

"Fuck." Seokjin cursed out of shock, he was almost hit by a car if it weren't for the honking.

"What?" The singer's eyes widened upon seeing the busy street of Seoul. His eyes glimmered with a hint of amusement while his frown slowly turned to a smile.

Maybe this isn't a bad thing at all, he relaxed.

He continued to roam, he hadn't been really outside for a while, hence he took this as a chance. His soul swam in enjoyment, no one noticed him.

Well, I guess it's only for a while.

"Hyung! We've been looking for you! We have a practice now and you weren't answering your calls!" It was Jungkook who called him. And everything fun disappears.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just have-"

"Come on, hyung! Hoseok-hyung doesn't have that enough patience!" Jungkook hurriedly grabbed the eldest by his arm, not noticing how the male flinched.