melancholia → jin-centric

happiness

he second he opened his eyes, his mind went through a quake, drilling his head a hundred times. His soul relishes for a touch of rest as he grasped the fact that he had a drunken session with no other than his hard-working member, Min Yoongi. He groaned, how can he explain the things he told the rapper?

"Fuck," he cursed as he moved his head around to find the boy before giving up for he saw no one. The singer turned his head to the side, facing the desk beside his bed. He found painkillers, a glass of water, and a note that he guessed; it is from his beloved roommate.

He grabbed the medicine and gulped it while he drank the water after sitting up. He forced himself to read the note, squinting his eyes to register what was written.

I already cooked breakfast for the rest, yours is on the table, hyung. We will practice the dance later but I informed them that you won't be joining today. But you might not be feeling well since I checked your temperature, it's quite high. Don't worry about us, just rest hyung. Also please take your medicine so you won't be feeling low. And about what you told me last night, we will talk about it later.

He gulped after reading. That means he would be missing out on the new choreo Hoseok told him. And that means he needs to stay for 5 more hours alone, practicing the shit load of dances they have to memorize. And that means he's fucked.

"Why, why, why, why, why?" he repeated, pacing around the room, increasing the ache in his head.

"I need to go. Shit. I need to go," he bit his lip after releasing a groan from the pain that struck him like lightning.
Nevertheless, he still managed to put his flimsy jacket on, his arms finding their way to the sleeve holes. He felt hot. No, he's burning.

He felt like there's flame igniting inside of him, heating his body like a cookie dough inside an oven (it reminded him of when Jimin helped him bake the pastry for Taehyung's birthday. Not a good memory), but that didn't halt the boy from doing his darn best to get ready.

He even forgot to shower, which earned a few curses from the male, but he shrugged it after. He needs to reach the practice now.

...

"Pam, pam, pam..." the firm teaching of their main dancer made Seokjin hesitate. Sure, he needs to practice now but Yoongi will get mad at him, and another argument will happen if he did go inside the studio.

Yet he still did anyway. As soon as he took a step in the room, there were flashes of startles and hints of shock in their faces. As if there was a thief who barged into their studio.

"Oh, hyung! I thought you sprained your ankle?" The eldest's brows met after the leader told him that. Him? Sprained his ankle? He is perfectly fine, he even ran all the way to the room.

"Yoongi-hyung, did you lie?" Jungkook turned his head to the rapper, who shot a glare on the eldest.

"Actually, no! I am now fine, I think Yoongi misunderstood me as my ankle was just in a little pain," they all nodded as the second eldest looked away, preventing himself from lashing out.

"So, you're gonna join us for practice, hyung?" A silence cut through his throat. The glares Yoongi gave him, the confused looks from the members, and his rapidly pacing heart. It echoed within his mind, each pump, each beat, it overflowed his system.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I? I'm okay!" The eldest exclaimed while the others nodded at his answer.

"Okay, hyung. Let's just continue our practice, then."

...

"You lied," he heard a voice from behind said. Sighing, he turned his head to that person.

"It was for the better, Yoongi," the rapper scoffed. The second eldest stepped forward, as the singer took a step backward.

"I know you still have that headache. For fuck's sake, stop lying! I'm done with all the things you cover up just for the sake of improving! We both know that you finished two bottles of that fucking wine and you pretend that you're alright! I'm sick of that shit!"

"Then what do you want?" Seokjin spoke in a shaky voice, tears building up behind his eyes.

"For you to act selfishly for once! The things you said yesterday, you think I forgot them? Oh, and what about the time where you went missing? Or when you cried in the bathroom after Hoseok shouted at you? I know what you're going through but you act like an oblivious fucker who does everything to be happy and fine! That's what I hate about you!" Yoongi was in tears.

"You don't know, Yoongi! I don't know what you're saying but it's not true! I was just a little down yesterday but you act like I killed myself for you guys! We all have those days!" Yoongi's eyes turned dark. He grabbed the eldest arms, tightly gripping it while looking straight into his eyes.

"Stop being selfless. Just stop! You clearly have a problem and you can say it to me! Say all the things that you want to tell me! I just want you to be happy!" Tears streaming down their faces. Seokjin was trembling, his hands shaking.

"I'm sorry," the eldest escaped the rapper's grip as Yoongi cried, covering his mouth with his hand, trying to lower his sobs.

And Seokjin took his pills that night.