Red Tiles

chapter 18

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to someone rubbing my stomach gently.

"Jasper, it's time to wake up, baby," said a gentle voice. I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes, yawning. I was met with the kind eyes and warm smile of Jinx. I could smell something warm and sweet; inviting, like vanilla.

"Did you have a good nap?" I nodded, crossing my legs. She smiled.

"Good. You've been asleep for hours; I was starting to get worried." She was sitting on the edge of the bed, very close to me. I glanced at the clock on the far wall to the left but it was too blurry for me to be able to read it. As if she read my mind, she grabbed something off the nightstand.

"I ran a couple errands while you were asleep. Picked these up for you," she said, handing me a white glasses case.

"You left them in your office."

I took the smooth case in my shaky hands, and ran my thumb across the scratch on the right side of it. That was from the other day when Tommy dropped it while playing 'keep away' with me. I opened the case and took the glasses out, putting them on.

"Thank you," I said softly, looking down. She smiled.

"You're welcome. Are you hungry?" she picked up a bowl from the night stand and showed me.

"I made your favorite," she said, offering the bowl to me. I looked at it and shook my head. It's soup. She frowned.

"You need to eat. You haven't all day." She set the bowl in my lap.

"I'll be back to check on you in twenty minutes. When I'm back, that bowl better be empty. Because tonight, I don't need you passing out when we play." I shook my head.

"No. I dont want to play tonight," I exclaimed, trying to keep calm. Jinx raised her eyebrows a bit and nodded once slowly.

"You want to keep arguing with me or do you want to be a good girl and follow the rules?" She asked rhetorically.

I got up and crossed my arms. "I don't want to listen to you. You can't make me!" I shouted, immediately stepping back. No sooner than I finished that sentence did I realize what I'd said. I took a few short breaths and stepped forward again.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," I insited. Jinx stood and walked quickly out if the room, only to return a moment later with her pocket knife. I shook my head, stepping back slowly.

"No, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," I said softly, tears forming in my eyes. Her dark expression was set as she reached for my arm and gripped it with a tight fist. I was crying as she dug the blade in my wrist, drawing two vertical lines. Blood began to slowly seep from the two cuts. Jinx pulled me towards the bathroom and ran my wrist under the warm water of the sink faucet, then wrapped my wrist with gauze wrap. We then went back to my room and laid in bed together.

"I'm sorry, Jinx," I whispered, burying my face in her neck. "I'll be good now." She held my head there and nodded, kissing my temple gently.

"It's ok, baby. I know you will. You're my good girl." We laid in a peaceful silence for a few more minutes when she sat up.

"You need to eat now, alright?" I nodded slowly. She got up and turned to leave. I quickly sat up, reaching for her as she stood, and grabbed her hand without thinking.

"Wait," I said quickly. I took a shaky breath and held onto her hand.

"Stay?" I asked softly. She seemed a bit surprised by my request but slowly sat back down. I noticed the little glint in her eye and how the corner of her mouth turned up just a little. But it disappeared as quickly as it appeared when she cleared her throat and looked away.

"This changes nothing, you still only have twenty minutes." I nodded.

"I know. But please don't go." She nodded and settled a bit beside me.

"Are you still sore?" I shook my head slowly, knowing what she was referring to.

"No. What did you do to me while I was unconscious?" She looked down at her hands, then back up at me.

"You woke up a little while after I put you in my bed. I realized that the pills weren't strong enough to keep you knocked out all night. I didn't want you waking up and fighting. I had to show you who was in control. And we're going to do it every night until you learn." I quickly shook my head and began to protest but before I could, she put a finger to my lips and gave me a very scary stare that sent a chill down my spine.

"Don't you argue with me, Jasper Kyle. You don't want me to mark another strike, do you?" She warned. I knew she wasn't asking, she was telling.

I looked down at the bowl in my lap, then at my bruised wrists and ankles. I slowly rubbed the bruises on my wrists, and the cut, and shook my head slowly.

"No, I'm sorry," I said softly. Her expression softened when she saw the fear in my eyes. She placed a gentle hand on my cheek and gave me a soft, friendly smile.

"We won't have to do it often. Just until you learn, ok? If you don't fight and you behave, I'll take it easy with you. Fair?"

I nodded slowly again and put my hand over hers. She removed her hand from my face and held it, giving it a small squeeze.

"You'll be so happy here, sweetheart. I promise." She leaned forward and pressed a gentle but firm kiss on my forehead, and slowly laid back down with me, closing her eyes.

Would I ever really be happy?