Kibo ✶ Poe Dameron x Reader

Chapter 4 - Nightmares

Chapter 4

I toss and turn every night. Kaiya's dead eyes burn into my soul as I sleep. And that was 10 years ago. What 26 year old woman still wakes up shaking and screaming in the middle of the night? Me. That's who.

I've tried to fix myself, trust me I have. Nothing seems to work. I have medications, therapy, weighted blankets - the whole shabang but still nothing works.

After the whole incident, mom started to run the new resistance in the hope of overthrowing the first order that my brother just so happens to be in charge of. There hasn't really been much development in a long time but people know we are here and that we are always looking for help.

The one thing I want to do is go on a mission. Mom point blank refused to let me go on one and it was starting to annoy me. I do everything here, the medical wards, comming to pilots on their mission, assisting my mother when she needs it but that's never enough. I can fly an x-wing and I want to use it so badly. And i'm a hell of a good pilot even if I do say so myself.

My days now normally start with a shower at 4:00 am - due to that being the time I tend to get awaken at by my nightmares. Then I mope around my room for three hours, normally excessively cleaning, until the mess hall opens for breakfast. There I sit by myself reading a book in the corner and a slice of toast in my hands. Then I go to my mother and she gives me a job to do and I go and do it for the rest of the day before going to sleep, waking up and redoing the whole routine once again.

This morning I got an even earlier start, 3:25 am! wow, I really won the lottery on my brain didn't I? I get into the shower and let the water run down my body as its temperature change from hot to cold and hot again. There must be very few people having showers meaning that I get the hot water from the base. Not that there is a shortage or anything.

As I let the conditioner rest in my hair I also let my mind take over and I find myself standing back on the training camp and the destruction has already been done.

"Kaiya?" I shout through the wreckages. "Are you ok?"

Only the crackling of dying fires make the sound on the planet, making me feel a sense of unease but also calm. "Y/N?" I spin around and there's my blonde best friend standing as though she had never been hurt by anyone, just as scared as I am.

But then I blink. And she's back on the floor, cowering as my brother approaches her with his red saber. "Ben please don't do this," she panics as he stalks her shaking body. "This isn't who you are,"

"Ben is dead, long gone," he replies menacingly. "Kylo Ren is strong. The first order will win and every Jedi shall die. I will be omnipotent,"

"You're just a coward, Ben. The light is the way-" the saber pierces straight through her chest and gasps, tears falling quickly down her consistently rosy cheeks. "Ben," she strains as she looks down to the hole under her collarbone.

She drops and takes her last breath. "Kaiya!" I screech painfully. Kylo twitches as though he heard me but he couldn't have. This is a dream.

I run to her lifeless body and go to pick her up but she turns to nothing. As though she was never here. I feel myself crying loudly and that's when I come to reality.

I snap out of the image, finding myself on my knees in the shower as if I was actually there. I feel my eyes sting with tears but quickly wipe them away.

I notice that the water has turned a freezing cold and I jump up rapidly to warm myself up with the warm towel waiting for me in the heated cupboard. I look at the small clock on the counter and feel shocked when I see that I have been in that shower for longer than I normally am. 5:37. Maybe I did use up all of the base's hot water. Oops.