The Team (YJ Oneshots)

Family Therapy (Batfam)

"These are my brothers," Dick shook his head in disappointment as he gestured towards the three brunets sitting on the therapy couch. Dinah raised her eyebrow at the boys.

On the end sat Jason Todd, known for being an angsty dead man walking. Next to him was Tim Drake, the greatest detective out of all of them. On the opposite end was the youngest of the bunch. He was Damian. The boy was about ten and seemed to look the most angry to be in the cave's therapy room. Dinah kept her eyebrow arched and scoffed.

"And you're telling me all of you aren't blood related?"

"If I was related to Damian, I would die ... Again," Jason said loud enough for the boy to hear. Damian snarled and clenched his fists.

"You wish you were the blood son, Todd. And not the son of some drug-

-Dinah, this is why we need family therapy," Dick interrupted the two's bickering. Tim, who was now stuck in the brothers' crossfire, nodded in agreement.

The blonde rubbed her temples, already seeing the problems of taking on the four boys as therapy patients. She had already had a hard enough time accomplishing a breakthrough with the original Roy Harper. And the whole world knew that the Bats were stubborn. Like really stubborn. There was no way she could take on this task. 

With a fake regretful sigh, Dinah stated, "I'm sorry, boys. I don't think I'm the right therapist for you. Perhaps M'gann could help you? She's trained in therapy and psychology. She might be an even better fit."

"I told you Dinah couldn't fix this mess, Grayson!" Jason snapped at the acrobat before sitting up. Damian agreed with the antihero for once and stood up, too. Tim just shook his head.

The teen took a deep breath, "I'm going to suffer from coffee withdrawal."

Therapy searching hadn't gotten any easier. The moment Dick knocked on M'gann and Conner's front door, M'gann opened the with a door with a deep frown. Her first response to the boys was, "What's destroying the world now?"

Dick smiled sweetly at the martian, "Actually, Miss. M, we're looking for a family therapist. And we were wondering-

-I think my cookies are burning! Bye, gotta go!" M'gann said quickly and slammed the door in Dick's face. The acrobat sighed and looked back at Jason, Tim, and Damian.

"Not even an alien would help us," Damian glared at his oldest brother, "You are truly a disappointment, Grayson."

"Like Bruce hadn't reminded me enough, Little D. And if anyone has any other suggestions, feel free to pitch in or shut up."

As the boys walked down M'gann's drive way, Tim rubbed his chin as he tried to come up with ideas. It was his thinking face that usually lead them to a somewhat smart decision. By the time they reached Dick's car, he had an idea. "How about we ask Roy for his family therapist?"

"Roy doesn't do therapy," Jason scoffed, "He listens to Britney Spears, throws himself on the floor, and sobs."

"Please tell me he doesn't actually do that," Dick raised an eyebrow as they all got in his car. The younger raven gave him a dead serious look. When the image of Roy sobbing on the floor while Circus played got stuck in Dick's head, he shivered in fear.

Damian spoked up next, "Why haven't we tried a therapist in Gotham?"

"Because the Wayne family is banned from all therapy offices in the city," Tim huffed, sending a glare at the acrobat.

"It's not my fault I got drunk and confessed my crush on Kid Flash to every therapist in Gotham!" He threw his hands up in exclamation.

"Yes it was!" All three of his adoptive siblings yelled at him. Dick huffed at them in response and turned his attention to the road.