Comic Zone

The Slammer Part 1 😈

     This skit is actually the second group chat skit ever done. Despite that fact, this is more loosely based on it and it only maintains a few plot points. Will I show you the first one? You'll find out later. I also apologize in advance if this skit is overly long. I had a lot of ideas for this, so many that this is split into two parts.

   
The Slammer 😈: Jeremiah Dawson
                                 Malcolm Castle
                                Justin Price
                               Barry Karloff
Jeremiah: So how exactly did we end up in prison? *Pulls at chains*
Mal: Okay, so Justin and Barry thought that it would be a great idea to set off fireworks during a fire safety seminar at the office.
Jeremiah: But why are we here?
Mal: *Rolls eyes and groans* I guess we were with them, because when the cops came, and they assumed we were accomplices.
Jeremiah: *Glares at Justin and Barry* Are you serious guys?! Why would you ever think that your, *Air quotes* "prank" was a good idea.
Justin: It seemed funny at the time.
Barry: *Evilly grins* I just wanted to see the chaos unfold. *Darkly chuckles*
Jeremiah, Mal, and Justin: *Stare at Barry in fear*
Justin: *Puts hand behind his neck and nervously chuckles* Okay. He, *Points at Barry* might be actually psychotic, but I just mixed up the dates of Mrs. Brown's birthday and the fire safety seminar.
Jeremiah: *Quirks an eyebrow* Why exactly were you going to set off fireworks at our CEO's birthday?
Justin: She loves fireworks! I wanted to make her happy since-
Tate: Shut it prisoners! We're almost there. *Speaks into walkie talkie* Be prepared for the shipment for four new prisoners in the New Orleans Correctional Center.
*Bus comes to a sudden halt*
Jeremiah and Mal: *Looks at the prison yard and sees multiple prisoners starring at them*
Prisoner 1: *Seen vibing to some music*
Prisoner 2 and 3: *Shoot hoops and take no notice*
Prisoner 4: *Makes a throat cutting motion*
Prisoner 5: *Wiggles eyebrows*
Prisoner 6: Hello! *Waves and gives a grin*
Mal: *Sighs* Well **** me gently with a chainsaw...
Jeremiah: Thiiiiiis is horrible. IIIIII don't like this.
Mal: Well. On the bright side that one prisoner seemed friendly.
*Jeremiah, Mal, Justin, Barry, and Tate walk into the prison halls*
Tate: If you don't already know, I am your warden Tate Walker and you four are all in this prison for one reason, arson. You cause a fire at a fire safety seminar which is very ironic really. You will all be going to the prison yard for a half an hour and then you'll be taken to the the cafeteria. Then finally, you will be taken to your cell by one of four guards. *Points to four muscular men punching their fists into their palms*
Tate: Jeremiah. You'll be escorted by Ben.
Ben: *Gives a creepy grin*
Jeremiah: *Gulps*
Tate: Malcolm.
Mal: Mal.
Tate: *Gives the stink eye* What did you say *Pulls out baton* punk?
Mal: *Stammers* My names M-Mal sir.
Tate: *Dryly chuckles* Do I *Says while slamming baton next to him on wall* look like I give a horses arsch about that? *Eyes give an eerie glow in the poorly lit prison*
Mal: *Rapidly shakes head* No sir!
Tate: Well then! *Grins* You better shut that huge mouth of yours...
Mal: *Gulps*
Tate: You'll be going with Darby.
Darby: *Cracks knuckles*
Mal: Eep! *Jumps into Jeremiah's arms*
Tate: Justin. You'll be going with Hunter.
Hunter: *Cracks neck and grins*
Justin: I think I p-peed a bit.
Barry: Tsk. Wuss.
Tate: *Eyes widen in amusement* Ah. I see we have a tough guy here! You will be going with Magnus.
Magnus: *Gives an angry look and has a pulsing vein on his forehead ready to pop*
Barry: *Gives a creepy grin and glitches symbols appear around him* Hello...
Magnus: *Gives a high pitched scream and rushes down the hallway*
Tate: *Nervously chuckles and scratches neck* Just, just, okay just go out into the courtyard. You can do whatever. I could not care less.
J, M, J, and B: *Walk out into the courtyard*
Prisoner 6: *Tackles Jeremiah* Hey there! It's nice to meet you!
Jeremiah: *Brushes the dirt off his legs * Its n-nice to meet you too. *Stands up* I'm Jeremiah. What's your name?
Sebastian: I'm Sebastian! That's Jay and Kingston, *Points to the two guys playing basketball* that guy over there with the freckles is Jaz, *Points to the guy who takes off his headphones and waves* and that little teddy bear over there is Takeshi! If you consider teddy bears to be tall, buff, and dangerous. *Whispers in Jeremiah's ear* He was in the military.
Jeremiah: Why is he in prison then?
Sebastien: I don't entirely remember. *Raises an eyebrow* Something involving a bar fight...Oh! I almost forgot someone!
Jeremiah: Who?
Sebastien: That's guy over there is Takashi. *Points over to the guy who wiggles his eyebrows* He was also in the Military and is Takeshi's twin brother. Together they make the Daigo twins!
Jeremiah: Why are you introducing me to these people?
Sebastien: Well...*Gives a closed eye grin* You came here with those three guys over there. *Points to Mal, Justin, and Barry* But here's something you should know. Here in the New Orleans Correctional Center, my philosophy is that togetherness is the most important ingredient for making the best of things!
Jeremiah: *Mutters under breath* How in the hell is this guy in prison?
Sebastien: How am I in here?
Jeremiah: You heard me?!
Sebastien: Yes indeedy! That actually reminds me of a tradition around here. Basically we get in a circle and tell a story of how we got in the NOCC. My friends and your friends will get together in a circle.
(One circle formation later...)
Sebastien: Who would like to go first?
Jeremiah: I'll go I guess.
Mal, Justin, and Barry; *Puts on hand on Jeremiah* Actually....the four of us will go.
Sebastien: *Raises one eyebrow* Oh really? Sure.
Jeremiah: The four of us all work at the New Orleans branch of the Imagination Facilitation. It's basically a company that makes your artwork easier to spread to the masses.
Justin: The office tends to have pranks pulled all throughout the day.
Mal: *Points to Justin and Barry* That includes these bozos.
Justin and Barry: Hey!
Justin: *Grumbles and sighs* Anyway, Mal is right. Barry and I pull a ton of pranks on the office to spice up the day a bit. One day we decided to take a break from it because it was our CEO Charlotte Brown's birthday. She loves sparklers and I wanted to make her happy so I got Barry to buy some sparklers. *Glares at Barry* Now tell me Barry, what did you buy instead of sparklers?
Barry: *Clears throat* Matches and gasoline.
Justin: Now pray tell, where did you put it?
Barry: *Grins* Near the fire truck....
Justin: *Tugs hair* During a fire safety seminar?!
Barry: *Grin widens* As I said...*Does jazz hands and says in a sing song voice* chaos!
Kingston: Wait hold on a second!
Everybody but Kingston: *Turns to Kingston*
Kingston: I can understand why Justin and Barry are in here, but why are Jeremiah and Mal here?
Mal: When the police finally got to the scene, they saw us with those two and took us away in cuffs as well with them.
Jeremiah: *Snarls* We didn't do anything! It's there fault we're in here! *Jumps up*
Mal: *Holds back Jeremiah and places him back on the ground* *Sighs*
Kingston: Huh. That story sounds familiar.
Jeremiah: *Looks up at Kingston* What's that supposed to mean?
Kingston: The same exact thing happened to me. The reason I'm in here is because of murder.
Barry: Really?
Kingston: *Looks down* You see, I was a veterinarian before I was thrown into this hellhole. It was a pretty nice job, but there was always this one guy that acted strange around me. One day, I was working on getting a client their dogs shots and they were in a different room. When I went to tell them they could see the dog, I saw the dude standing above them with a knife. If you can guess, he pushed the blame on me and I was thrown in here.
Jeremiah, Mal, and Justin: *Give sympathetic and shocked looks towards Kingston*
Barry: *Grin falters* You see, I have a few screws loose. I tend to go too far with my pranks, but I would never do anything besides arson. I assume that you have not the best relationship with this man right?
Kingston: *Nods*
Barry: Back to the subject of murder, it's bad enough to kill a human being or let a human being die. But to let an innocent man take the blame, I just can't stand.  *Growls*
Justin: *Eyes widen* Calm down buddy. It's fine.
Sebastien: Kingston. Are you okay?
Kingston: *Grumbles* No. *Eyes widen* *Covers his mouth*
Sebastien: You don't need to say anything else.
Everyone: *Stays silent*
Jay:  *Give an embarrassed look then sighs* Do you guys want to know how I got in prison?
Kingston, Jaz, Takeshi, Takashi, and Sebastian: *Give Jay shocked looks*
Sebastian: *Still shocked* Really Jay? You never told us how you got in. You always seemed to be embarrassed about it.
Jay: Well *Clears throat* if it lightens the mood.
Jeremiah: *Raises an eyebrow* How would another crime story "lighten" the mood?
Jay: Well it's the irony of my reason for getting arrested. Sebastien, do you know how long my sentence is?
Sebastien: If I recall it's one year right?
Jay: Yep. I am in prison because of *Mumbles*
Kingston: *Cups ear* What did you say?
Jay: *Sighs* *Mumbles*
Takeshi: *Straightens back and crosses arms* We can't quite hear you Aibō.
Jay: *Mumbles*
Sebastien: *Puts hand on his shoulder* You have to speak for the group Jayce.
Jay: *Groans and shuts eyes * I got arrested for jaywalking!
Everyone: *Becomes silent*
Jay: *Opens one eye* Guys?
Barry: *Snickers* *Chuckles* *Bursts out laughing*
Everyone: *Stares at Barry* *Bursts out laughing*
Jay: Even you Sebastien?!
Sebastien: *Wipes some tears from his eyes* I'm sorry Jay. I mean, you even got Takeshi to laugh like a maniac.
Jay: *Slightly smiles* I guess my mission has been accomplished.
Sebastien: *Looks at the clock* It appears that we have only a minute left til we have to go to the lunchroom. We will explain at lunch. Jaz!
Jaz: *Rests hand behind his neck* Music Piracy.
Sebastien: Takeshi!
Takeshi: *Winks* Bar fight.
Sebastien: Now finally Takashi!
Takashi: Piracy.
Sebastien: *Claps hands together* Okay then.
Jeremiah: Wait Sebastien!
Sebastien: *Turns to Jeremiah* Yes Jeremiah?
Jeremiah: Why exactly are you here?
Sebastien: Assault And Battery With A Dangerous Weapon.
Jeremiah: *Stammers then walks in with Mal, Justin, and Barry*
J, M, J, and B: *Walk into a cafeteria which reveals the 2,000 prisoners that the NOCC holds*
(One lunch line later...)
Justin: Where should we sit?
Mal: Maybe with the other arsonists. *Points to a group of men with male pattern baldness who are awkwardly poking at their food*
Barry: Ehhhhhhh...I think we'll need a crowd who is more on the interacting side.
Jeremiah: *A lightbulb lights above his head* *Snaps fingers* Aha! How about we sit with the Conspiracy Theorists?
*Points to a table with Jacob of ChannelFrederator, Matpat, and  Lockstin & Gnoggin*
Matpat: *Jitters* Darn you Scott Cawthon! Cawt! Cottage Cheese! Scott Cawthon like Cottage Cheese! I have solved Five Nights At Freddys!
Jacob: How will Luca fit into the Pixar timeline guys?!
Lockstin: Why are we here?
Gnoggin: This channel hasn't made a theory video in awhile.
Barry: Correct me if I'm wrong copains, but I don't think that any of those four are from New Orleans, Baton Rouge, or any city in this state.
Justin: Wait. Can't we just sit with those guys from the prison yard. *Points to their table*
Takeshi: Yo!
J, M, J, and B: *Turn their heads to see Takeshi, Takashi, Sebastian, Jay, Kingston, and Jaz sitting at a table with lunch* *Sits down with them*
Kingston: *Waves* Sup.
Sebastian: *Grins* Hey guys.
Jaz: *Pulls off headphones* Hi. *Holds our his hand to Jeremiah, Malcolm, Justin, and Barry and they shake his hand*
Takashi: Hey guys. Does anybody want some...*Pulls out DVD's* Pirated movies?
Darby: *From the distance* He's got pirated movies!
Hunter: *Punches palm* Let's get this douchebag!
Darby and Hunter: *Run towards Takashi at Mach 20 speed with red glowing eyes and an ominous aura*
Takashi: *Lets out a high pitch screech*
Takeshi: *Flips the table and gets behind it*
Jeremiah: * Gets behind the table, crouched, turns to Takeshi, and quirks an eyebrow* Why did you do that?
Takeshi: Think will get ugly if we get caught in the crossfire.
Takashi: What do I do Takeshi?!
Takeshi:Kyōdai, behind the table you fool!
Takashi: *Tries to run but stumbles* Ā shin'ainaru-shin! (Oh dear god!)
Darby: *Picks up Hunter like a baseball bat and hits him into the sky*
Takashi: Team Rockets blasting off again! *Spot where he was twinkles*
Mal: *Looks up in awe and fear* Um...is he going to be okay?
Takeshi: *Points hand behind neck* Yeah. This type of stuff happens all the times.
Justin: How does he get back?
Jaz: Now that I think about it, nobody really knows how he gets back.
Kingston: Doesn't he just get back the next day?
Takeshi: Yeah.
Justin: Oh come on!
Everyone at the table: *Turns to Justin with concerned looks except Barry who's just looking on in amusement*
Justin: I know that the foods just gray slop that's labeled steak, but I was hungry!
Takeshi: I'm sorry aibō, but my instincts were kicking in. During my time in the military, I was the Sergeant and Takashi was the Specialist. The war was tough and I suffered for it. That was the reason I got into that bar fight that cost me my position and sent me to prison. Same for Takashi who got kicked for trying to sell pirated DVD's to soldiers.
Sebastien: *Stands up* I will make some food.
Jaz: *Dryly chuckles* Are you sure Sebast? Last time you tried to cook some food you had to pay for a new oven.
Sebastien: *Steams comes out of his ears* *Huffs* I...have gotten better at making food Jaz. Plus, I am going to get some help from Warden Walker.
Jeremiah, Mal, Justin, and Barry: *Each take a sip of milk and passes it to the next person* *Spits it out* What?!
Sebastien: What guys? Tate is actually pretty cool when you get to know him, plus he is actually pretty good at cooking.
Jeremiah: *Eyes twitches*
Jeremiah, Mal, and Justin: 'So, under that cold exterior is a chef?'
Sebastien: I have been getting less time with good behavior and the perks have been kind to me.
Jeremiah: *Eye stops twitching* Well then, what are you cooking?
Sebastien: Jambalaya, apparently Tate has some family recipe that he wants me to use. *Chuckles* Apparently he forgets why I am here.
(Tate)
Tate: *Flips through paperwork* If we get any more prisoners in here I might go nuts. *Flips to files for Jeremiah, Mal, Justin, and Barry* Huh.
Jeremiah Dawson
Age: 23
Workplace: Imagination Facilitation
History of Mental Illness: None
Description: Jeremiah Dawson is a creative young man who seemingly would never hurt a fly. He's outgoing, smart, and loves to help. Arson is one of the last's things to be excepted of him. His motives are a mystery.
Tate: *Flips and reads through the other files* I can't find a single dang thing wrong with them. Wait.
Barry Karloff
Age: 24
Workplace: Imagination Facilitation
History of Mental Illness: Unsure
Description: Barry Karloff is an interesting case. He similar to the other three are kind, smart, and helpful. Although, he does seem to love fire, fighting, and a number of other violent things. It is highly likely that he was behind the arson.
Tate: *Whistles* I'm not going to doubt that.
Sebastian: *Opens door* Hey Tate.
Tate: *Shoots up with fire in his eyes* How dare you come into my office without a moments notice you filthy piece of dirt off of my sho-Sebastian! How's it going?
Sebastian: Good, I'm ready to learn your recipe!
Tate: I see you want to add some zest to the cafeteria.
Magnus: *Sits down in front of drums*
*Ba dum tss!*
Tate: Thank you Magnus.
Magnus: *Nods then leaves the room*
Tate: Are you prepared?!
Sebastien: *Puts on chef hat and smiles* Yes!
Tate: Now...*Grins* Lets do this!
(Meanwhile in the lunchroom...)
Jeremiah: *Stomach growls*
Barry: *Tapping fingers with a bored expression*
Jaz and Takeshi: *Talking to eachother*
Kingston and Jay: *Arm wrestling*
Mal and Justin: *Playing Super Smash Bros*
Darby: They're smashing!
Hunter: *Punches palm* How many times do we have to teach you guys a lesson?!
Mal and Justin: *Look at each other and gulp*
Darby and Hunter: Lets do something special just for you! *Start running towards Malcolm and Justin at Mach 30 Speed*
Barry: *Chuckles* So that explains why they're not exactly the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree.
Darby and Hunter: *Come to a sudden halt, and they turn to Barry* What did you say?!
Barry: *Nervously chuckles while tugging at collar* Well...you see.  Mach 30 speed can do some serious damage to the human brain, plus you weren't that intelligent to begin with.
Darby: *Tackles Barry*
Barry: Oof!
Hunter: *Body slams Mal and Justin*
Jaz, Takeshi, Takashi: *Look on in surprise*
Takashi: Should we help them?
Takeshi: We are on good behavior.
Jaz: *Shrugs and pulls out airpods* *Closes eyes and starts to hum "Crazy Train"*
Jeremiah: "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Ozbourne?
Jaz: *Opens one eye* You know it!
Jeremiah: Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Jaz: Ay! Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love and forget how to hate
Jeremiah and Jaz: Mental wou-
Ben: What are you doing you futt buckers?!
Barry, Darby, Hunter, Mal, and Justin: *Turn into a cartoon fighting cloud*
Ben: *Gets caught inside of it* *His shoe flies in the air*
Magnus: *Walks in and almost get hit by the shoe*
Ben: *Squeezes out with a missing shoe* Well I tried...*Limps away*
(Meanwhile in the kitchen...)
Tate: Good lord! What the hell happened to this jambalaya?!
Sebastien: *Groans* I worked with what we had.
Tate: *Squints* Which was...
Sebastien: *Nervously stutters* Leaves, tofu, ketchup, and toothpaste.
Tate: Sebastien. *Puts his hand on Sebastien* You have grown a lot as a chef, but I have seen better food inside of a toilet, and that's really saying something.
Sebastien: *Groans* How was I supposed to make Cajun pasta like Jambalaya if I have no meat, vegetables, or anything needed for it?!
Tate: *Sighs* Looks like we need to put this to a halt. I will need to buy some ingredients from the store tomorrow.
Sebastien: Well it was nice seeing you Tate, have a nice day. *Exits room*
Tate: *Gives a small smile* You too. *Pulls put Barry's file* Looks like we've got our guilty man. *Turns on his phone and calls Darby* Hello Darby, can you get someone to prepare the chair?
(Back with Jeremiah and the gang)
Jeremiah: *Slowly stands up and winces in pain* My lord this painful. *Reaches for Jaz's hand and pulls him up*
Barry: *Rubs his head* Those brutes are aggressive.
Mal: Wouldn't have a tooth or two knocked out if you'd have just not said anything. *Wipes some blood from his chin*
Jeremiah: *Sighs* Just...don't get involved next time.

Word Count: 3216